I Have a Small Penis and No Reason to Live

I am a white male in my early twenties and I will live a short a life, mostly because of my very undesirable body and within that, my small hands and arms, bad teeth, huge head, bad stretch marks, fat belly, and my small and crooked penis. Its is roughly 5in by 5in. Besides this I am not horribly ugly but I am now getting fat at 190lbs now because I just don't care about taking care of my body for the sake of finding a partner who will not be satisfied anyway. I have only had sex with one girl and in my mind at the time, it was a very serious relationship. It was six years ago. It only lasted about nine months and its the only relationship I have ever been in. Its was a long distance relationship and I now strongly believe that she was cheating on me most of the time and she defiantly was at the end of it. When we were together she would sometimes say things like "it needs to at least go up to your belly button." or she might kind of laugh and point at the tag that was on my underwear that said "hang ten". I didn't get that at the time, but I do now. Its a long, painful story but in the end, the day after I broke up with her (after she was acting suspicious and I heard from people that she was cheating on me) she called me up with some other dude who was saying "hey I heard you have a baby ****" and she was whispering "baby ****" and telling me that her past f-buddy was much better in bed than I ever could be and so on. I should also point out that during this relationship she basically forced me to get engaged to her. I never treated her badly, not ever. She would never put any effort into sex especially if it was oral or anything where she had to do something, she would just f around holding it not really doing anything. Whenever I went down on her and a small handful of the times we had normal sex she tell me that I'm "driving her crazy" and have me stop. I cannot forgive her to this day. I am not at all open to using any kind of toys or extenders or any of that ****. I, myself have strong sexual desires, but apparently from the research I've been doing using the real world and the internet I will never have a girl who wants to fulfill those desires because I am physically inadequate. So in these last six years I have had absolutely no 'more than platonic' contact with a girl. I don't want anything but a serious relationship, but I guess when it comes to what I want it doesn't matter because it seems that there is no one that I would consider "adequate" myself, who would have me. It seems as long as I exist in this physical body, I will never be happy and will always feel soul crushing pain/loneliness and feelings of hatred, envy and wrath. Girls probably think I'm rude because I hardly ever say hi to them or say anything to them but the only reason I don't is because I feel that it is pretty pointless because either it is impossible for me to ever be with them or they are already so tainted or I know that they have been with guys who I'm sure are bigger down there than me so I just don't try at all. I have nothing to offer them that they would actually want and consider it enough reason to stay with me. I also don't want to be just tolerable enough to stay with for awhile, I want to be a girl's everything and nothing less so they don't even consider other guys even in the slightest bit. I know that  that is supposedly unrealistic but I don't care, thats how I feel and I will not be lied to about that. This is the only way that I can express my feelings because I can't trust anyone enough to tell them what the main problem is because it is exactly the kind of thing that everybody, especially girls, just love to make fun of. And its not like a damn thing can be done to get rid of this problem. My existence is a contradiction to itself: what I need the most, I am the most ill-equipped for.I don't think that there is a one or anyone (for me) at all. I don't have enough personality or enough ANYTHING for any girl that I would like. I don't want to play up the 'motherly instinct' in a girl and I don't really want pity. What realistically want now is a permanent rest from this, I want this to end. Also, no religion, it does not help.

So girls, is it wrong for me to feel this way?

22-25, M
8 Responses Mar 26, 2009

Hey man. after reading ur story i woulda tought it was me a year ago writing it. I have a similar story. after 2 years with my previous girlfriend i broke up with her because i just couldnt stand the fighting anymore. after about the first year we had a 7 month stint where we didnt have sex. not once. now im kind of a shy guy, self concious being that i have a smaller penis. 5 1/2 inches. so i thought that that was the reason why we werent having sex. anyways that thought has always been in the back of my mind since then. things went sour and we broke up after a little over 2 years. i thought i'd never get laid again. i was in a depression gained alot of weight. im 5-7 and at the worst time in the depression was at 230 pounds, a gain of 40 pounds in 3 months. then i knew for sure i wouldn't get a girlfriend again. i am fat, hairy, i chew, drink too much, and to top it off have a small penis. no girl will EVER want to be with me. <br />
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at that point i told myself i wasnt going to let this drag me down and i started to work out . i lost 30 pounds in 5 months just by eating smarter and doin simple exercises 5 nights a week for about 10 minutes. this was a major confidence booster! now by no means is 5-7 200 pounds skinny but i felt better about myself. about a year after i broke up with my girlfriend i met another girl from alaska. i live in the lower 48 and her grandparents lived in my town. the first time i saw her i thought she was the most gorgous girl i had ever seen. honestly. i know alot of guys say that about women but this girl hands down is the most beautiful young woman i will ever know. long blonde hair, skinny, the ice blue eyes that just make you melt inside.... and there went my confidence down the drain. how will an amazing girl like this ever want to be with a low life ugly guy like me. she could have any guy she wanted. well a friend of mine knew her, and he's one of those friends grownin up that always had a girlfriend. never had many problems with the ladys ya know. well he introduced me to her at a party at my house and of corse shy me dint say much to her at all. she ended up staying at my place (along with several other people due to drinking) and being the gentleman i am i offered her my bed to sleep in while i slept on the couch. we both ended up sleeping in my bed, but i was as far on my side as i could be. she stayed a couple more times the same week and me being shy i thought nothing of it. i thought sweet, im getting to be friends with this awsome beautiful girl. all my friends asked if we had had sex and i told them that we were just friends, thats it. <br />
she would either stay at my house or her grandparents but she ended up staying for 2 months. we never had sex which wasnt a big deal for me at all cuz i was so inconfident in myself. she went back to alaska for 2 months and we would talk on and off. she ended up comming back down and we really got to know eachother. we ended up having sex and a couple weeks later we talked about our ex's. at this point i have only slept with two women. my ex and her. she told me her last boyfriend had a big penis and then told me that it was 8 inches long. my heart dropped. i thought i would never compare, just because of the fact that i have a small penis. i asked her about it and she said he didnt please her. it was too big for her and she never got hers. i dint know weither to believe it or not. well long story short she stayed for 7 months in my town, we started dating, and now im in alaska with her. i still joke about my small penis all the time! all the time! i tell her im not happy with it and i wish it was bigger. she tells me she loves my size and we always have sex which leads me to believe that i must be doing something right. i just have to do a little more to get her goin. more foreplay.<br />
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my point: having a small penis isnt much to worry about. yeah it would be nice if it were a little bigger but if you know how to use it you will be just fine. work on foreplay. if your a gentleman and is pretty simple to please you will find a girl, or in my case a girl will find you. you dont want a girl who all she cares about is herself and her looks etc. they are a dime a dozen. you will find a girl that is worth it, just may take a little while. in the mean time, read up on g-spots and sexual techniques. it will help emensly, helped me

It is a very small percentage of women that can ****** from penetration alone--regardless of the size of the penis. Movies and television (and lets not forget to mention the complete down fall of womens sexual satisfaction--****) would have a man believe that what gets a woman to ****** is just some hard thrusting. In turn, women feel inadequate often because they can't reach ****** that way, and they have also been taught that they should be able to. <br />
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A five inch penis is not terribly small. Sure, it is in the lower range of normal size, but nothing unusual at all. I've seen my share of penises in my 33 years, and most of them fall between 5-6 inches. Your **** is fine. The girlfriend was a complete *****. <br />
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You can't change the size of your ****. You need to find other ways to feel comfortable with your sexuality, and what you have to offer a woman in bed. <br />
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I can not stress enough the importance of oral sex. It is the most likely way to give a woman ******(s), and if you are skilled at it she will never forget you. That is a fact. <br />
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I'd like to recommend to you, and ALL men the book 'She Comes First, the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,' by Ian Kerner. This book stresses the importance of oral sex and its connection to a woman's sexual pleasure. Read this book, learn the information, and rock her world every single time. Trust me on this. All you men that might read this, make the world a better, happier place by studying this book. <br />
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There are size queens out there, of course. Women who feel like bigger is better. I gotta tell ya, though, we don't all feel that way. There are some very positive things about having a lover with a more average size penis. For one thing, you can have more sex without getting so sore you can't move the next day. Also--it is much easier and enjoyable to perform oral sex on an average size penis than a monster **** ****. <br />
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You need to stop beating yourself up about the size of your penis and everything else you view about yourself as not being physically "good enough." We all have flaws, and we can still be sexy to a partner.

well very few women get off on penetration alone and at all, actulyl a more average sized thicker **** would do better at satisfying a woman, not only that but what i ment by the hips is that well, think about it, its harder 2 thrust soemthing longer in very fast then something shorter, a guy with a longer **** can do it but its just harder 2 do for them, as for sex positions for ppl of all sizes theres lots of websites out there that'll teach ya, just cant let something ya have no controll over getcha down, its really just propaganda dude, and idk, its just i was more insecure in HS and i noticed there were alot of shallow girls in HS who were very immature, 2 many guys are defined by their dicks today, its rediculous, think their less of a man just cus they arent friggin 10 inchers, women are 2 selfish nowadays, its rediculous we have 2 run doing every ******* thing for them going out ona limb for them and them never do a damn thing for us, they expect us 2 be like emotionless friggin warriors or something, steretype us and dont relize we are just human, its just rediculous, point is, its gonna be hard 2 find a good woman out there so just keep on trying, i've been with so many different women its rediculous, they get offended cus after we break up the same night im out dating another, its not cus i dont care its just cus lifes 2 short 2 sit and cry and i pick my *** up brush ym shoulders off and try again, all ya can do, women have the luxury 2 sit and cry men who do that never get laid and get the right girl :P its just the way of things tho, women pick n chosoe men gotta go out there and hunt, women believe in that bullshit fate crap that its all gonna work out, rofl, it works out cus the men make it work, dunno how many times a girls pulled the fate card on my ***, lol, well cya later - just trust me, ***** not always as it seems

Thanks for your advice Butterss. I am way out of high school though. I don't know what made you think I was still in high school. Also I really don't get this part : "5 inches you can easily satisfy a woman you just gotta know how, smaller penises have an advantage over bigger penises because the guy can work his hips in there and give it 2 her harder, imo they are just better at the job" I don't see how that makes any sense at all because the bigger ones fill them up better and deeper so how is a guy with a small one digging his hips in better than a guy with a big one who would likely not have to dig his hips in?

ok we need some male counteraction here, dont ever, i mean ever ask a girl about these kind of problems, they know nothing about this, i'm not sexiest i love women but they are hard 2 get a real opinion out of im not sure why i think its because they are ruled by their emotions whille men use logic, idk, the point is, 5 inches you can easily satisfy a woman you just gotta know how, smaller penises have an advantage over bigger penises because the guy can work his hips in there and give it 2 her harder, imo they are just better at the job, kinda makes sense in evolution because most men have 5-6 inches, not 8-10, so i think the smaller ones are natures selection, propaganda just makes ya think bigger is better, women dont know anything except what they are told and what they've experienced, most guys who think they are small act small and suck at sex cus they dont try or they dont have the skills in lasting long w/e, they dont know what they are doing, just practice work it out for yourself you'll get better, trust me average can rock a girl 2 the point where she cant fake it, haha, as for the appearence dude, its not a big deal, heres a few tips brush your teeth good, use whitener, if its stained yellow no big deal just make sure their clean, make sure you take a shower everyday and wash good, maybe blowdry your hair if you have long hair like me, makes it nice and soft, and if your that worried about weight and your arms do pushups, hands aren't a big deal really, start with jsut 8 a day for three weeks, then do 10 sets of 8 a day (thats you go up and down 8 times then rest 2 secs 8 more then rest you do that 10 times in a row)after the three weeks, after you get used 2 the 8 then do 10 sets of 10 so on till your satisfied, after the appearence you just need confidence, you gotta stop thinking theres nothing, dont get all worried about finding a girl and marrying her or anything, that'll just getcha all messed up inside, just keep it calm and be yourself, i have this kinda nerdy innocent but naughty humour most girls like about me, makes them smile, thats me, every guy has their own thing, just be yourself man, look at it this way, they'll like you or they won't women say they can handle alot but they really cant, they have selective handling, lol, they cant take a guy who is 2 emotional and 2 needy, its 2 girly for them i guess and soemthing in them makes them not attracted 2 it just be confident in yourself but not an over confident ***, and dont be all beggy and pitty me or 2 nice or try 2 hard, that'll envoke the pitty and motherly side which was envoked in every girl who commented on this, lol, you just need 2 handle your life, i'm 220 lbs 5 ft 7 and slightly above the average size and i do fine with women, not all women like these 6 pack ripped men, i used 2 play football though, i have muscles under my chubbyness, its good 2 do the push ups, you'll feel better about yourself, i only joined football 2 keep me inshape, figured if i didnt have the motivation on my own, big yelling coaches would make me do it, i'm out of highschool now though, but it sounds like your still in, little tip man, dont go for HS girl, they are immature and empty headed very rarely will you find a real mature loving girl in HS, so just get 2 know girls practice what you can w/e, get out and move on when your older you'll have better options, and remember, penis size means nothing its skills, only ignorant ppl say otherwise, speaking from a medical perspective i honestly think a 3 inche penis could satisfy a woman if he knew what he was doing, think about it, most female fingers are roughly 3-4 inches in length, yet women can go 2 town on their vaginas at home, if fingers can do it so can a penis, anyways just stay strong ****'ll get better

What Enna said. Trust me - that woman knows whereof she speaks!!!

Dear DA,<BR>I'm old enough to be your mother, maybe even your grandmother! But you are touching my heart with your sadness and I want to communicate with you.<BR><BR>I see you suffer from depression and cos I haven't read all your stories I don't know if you are on meds. If not, may I encourage you to get meds for your depression? I know everyone hates taking them - I hate taking them (I suffer from depression too) but they really do make a difference.<BR><BR>And if possible, get some talk therapy too - it WILL help.<BR><BR>I'm sorry to say that your girlfriend was a total ***** and did not deserve a guy like you. It just shows how inexperienced SHE was that she made comments like she did. I'm glad FF (above) told you the same thing - FF is obviously a great woman and much more the sort of person you should look at having a relationship with. (I don't mean her exactly - I just mean women like her.)<BR><BR>Do you believe in Karma? I do. And that first girlfriend is going to have to cope with some pretty bad stuff if she doesn't get a better attitude to life and to people.<BR><BR>Now you will probably think "what does this old woman know about sex?" but the truth is I LOVE sex. I have had lots of lovers and lots of sex (all different types) over my life. Yeah, very embarrassing to have me confess this to you - but I have a reason.<BR><BR>I don't know if you'll believe me cos you might think "oh, she's just saying this to make me fel better" but I am NOT. I'm not your Mum or your Aunty or your Grandma. I don't have any reason to make up stuff to make you feel better. What I'm going to tell you is the TRUTH!<BR><BR>The size of your **** is only important if you are a crap lover to start with. If you are really bad at making love, then you better have a big **** to make the poor girls you have sex with get something from the experience.<BR><BR>But if you are a good lover your **** size is not important at all. And believe me, your **** may not be large but it is not that small either. I've had good sex with guys with smaller ones than your's. And I've had very ordinary sex with guys with big ones - cos they think they don't have to do anything cos they've got a big one!!<BR><BR>Kind of like some beautiful girls think it doesn't matter if they have no personality and are just dumb, cos they are beautiful. <BR><BR>Being a good lover is about thinking about the other person and doing things she likes and wants. It is about being caring and showing an interest in that person and telling her she is beautiful to you. It is about spending time on foreplay and not just "Wham Bam, thank you Ma'am" sex.<BR><BR>It is about wanting to be her friend as well as her lover. It is about caring for her when she feels bad; about sending her a card on her birthday, and taking her a little gift sometimes.<BR><BR>Does this all sound like crap to you? Maybe it does, but I can promise you that if you treat a woman well, with care and consideration; if you show you want her to be your friend and not just your **** buddy, you WILL be a good lover.<BR><BR>Cos love making is only partly about sex. The main part is the connecting with another person. If you have this connection, anything is possible.<BR><BR>And remember, she is probably going to have hang ups about parts of HER body too - her boobs are too small or too large; her legs are too stubby; she is too fat . . . <BR>But I'm willing to bet that when you are making love with her, the LAST thing you will be thinking is "her boobs are too small"!! If you do, then she is definitely not the girl for you.<BR><BR>If you treat her really well and make her feel good about herself, you will get that back ten fold.<BR><BR>And one last thing - there are heaps of things that happen when you are having sex that can get in the way if you are just ******* for the sake of ******* instead of making love. Like what if she farts? Or you get a cramp? <BR><BR>If you are making love these things don't matter. They only matter to shallow inexperienced girls (or guys) who haven't yet matured enough to understand what this is REALLY all about.<BR><BR>And you can do things to help you compensate if you feel your **** is too short. Change the angle at which you are having sex by putting a pillow under her bum. It makes a much better angle for deep penetration - both in missionary and in doggie. And you and your girl can have a heap of fun finding other "tricks" to make your sex together incredible.<BR><BR>Please don't let one stupid, shallow, immature and inexperienced little ***** put you off one of the greatest joys and pleasures in the world. I want you, when you get to my age (57), to look back on your life and say "I have had some pretty HOT sex in my time!!" OK??

5 inches is nothing to be ashamed of. If it's crooked, it's just different-hey, as long as it works! I checked out your profile-you are into some really dark stuff. I would think that the people you are around maybe just as dark, and that makes some depressing surroundings. The chick you were hooked up with? Wow, please, we aren't all like that- sounds like her life will end up in a big black hole if she keeps treating people that way. It wasn't your fault. <br />
We all want that special someone to see thru the la<x>yers, find our core, and love us no matter what. When you look in the mirrior can you see your true core? You want love, you aren't so dark. You want to give love and are afraid to now. It takes risk. But it probably will have to start with a platonic friendship. Sometimes things just have to grow-but you have to let them. And you can't jump right into a relationship, a girl will be just as afraid as you. It takes time. Don't give up. You have something to offer even if you don't feel like it right now. There are important things about you that you have lost sight of. I'll help if i can, just comment back, and I hope I can get it. I'm new to this ep thing.