I Am Gay And Have A Small Penis...

I know that a lot of straight men really have a hard time with their size. But, being gay with a small penis just amplifies the issue. When you are with a woman, she may just think it is small in her head. But, when you're with another guy, the issue is obvious and unavoidable.

No one has ever said anything negatively about my size, but I can say that there usually isn't a "second time." I also don't understand why people automatically associate having a small penis with the desire to be humiliated. I would just like to find another good guy out there that is small, or small-friendly so I don't have to always second-guess myself.

Any of you out there?
spark14 spark14 31-35, M 106 Responses Jul 6, 2010

Your Response


Is there a social/support group for gay men with teeny peenies. I would like to such a group. I'm in bBaltimore

It is good to know others are out there would be good to talk with you

Im brazillian, Im gay and I have a small penis. Someone live in Rio and would like meet me?

I'm gay and find small men hot :P

It's so good to see that there are more of us here. I'm 43 and have long felt alone here In socal

Never really knew what to call my size even though I have been left hanging because of it not being what someone expects. It can be and in some cases is disheartening when we are judged by the equipment we have between our legs. But if you let that stop you though then you have a long road ahead of you. It's hard being judged by d*** size truly it is but you keep pushing and try to stay strong and stop second ALLOWING others to mess your head up.

LMAO Funny story for everyone. I myself just recently got shot down, again, by another guy looking for sex, and that person hit me up for sex. If I hit you up then okay I get it I move on somehow because that doesn't hurt don't ask why it doesn't. But they hit on me! LMAO How do you say "hey I like you lets hook up" to someone then shoot them down when you don't see the size you want. That is f***** up ain't LMAO. Now of course at the moment it happened I was brought low... but you can't stay like. It's depressing as hell and I don't know about anyone else but I got tired of depression a long time ago. So I pick myself up and keep pushin.

I don't know if I helped someone or not but I hope I did. Confidence is hard to attain when your similar to me for example and have had very little confidence but confidence in what you have and your ability to use it is what's most important.

To paraphrase the immortal words of Katt Williaims, "you got to be in tune with your star player."

I'm 21 average body Latino, I have had a hard time dating because of my size down there, I am only 3.5" erect. I feel so lonely because I feel like I'm never going to find a man into me. I'm looking for a masculine 'top' that doesnt care about penis size and wants a man with a good heart.

You seem cool (:

What's your number ?

I'm only into guys with small ones, if you are up for chat send me a message

profile187 ARROBA
please write me... I'm 40 gay man with small penis. I'm looking for similar gay men.

want to talk?

profile187 ARROBA
please write me... I'm 40 gay man with small penis. I'm looking for similar gay men.

3 More Responses

I'm in my mid 30s now and being small (5.5'' to be exact) doesn't bother me as much as it used to. But in the past it has prevented me from going out with some guys because I was afraid of being rejected. People say that I'm attractive and I get compliments when I'm out with friends or at the gym. But I rarely pursued anybody. The thought of being turned away because the size of my penis was reason enough to avoid getting too involved. I still managed to be in a few serious relationships but they didn't last very long.

Over the years I realized that if I ever wanted to be happy with myself, I needed to face my fears. I'm not going to lie, It's a work in progress, but I already feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm still single but I believe that eventually I'll find the right man. I've only been with guys with big or average d****, which I don't mind, but it would be nice to meet someone smaller too. There's this sort of vulnerability that I personally find very attractive. Plus small d****are beautiful!

So I want to believe that there are other men like me in Southern California but I'm wondering where they are. Come on guys! ;)

I live in SoCal. I hope we can form a small community here!

Yay !

profile187 ARROBA
please write me... I'm 40 gay man with small penis. I'm looking for similar gay men.

I am Asian, six feet one, fit and a good-looking normal, hard-working, well-mannered guy but with an abnormal problem. <br />
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I get attention from people of all races often, but because of this issue I usually stop reciprocating if I sense disappointment after revealing my size.<br />
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I have been teased and made to feel like a freak when talking to some other gay guys met online. I am in my mid-20s but have never had the courage to even try to look for love. <br />
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I hope to meet guys that are similar in build and height, under 40, and have the same problem. Click on my profile and send me Msgs, I very much love to get to know you. Distance is not a problem. <br />
<br />
One lonely soul for another. Are you out there? E

Reading these posts and comments have given me a wealth of relief. :) I'm 27 and to this day I'm still a virgin bc of my deep insecurities of my 5" penis. Im chubby, 6' and 260lbs. And though I get attention, I have never reciprocated. I have become an avid adult film watcher and would please myself almost daily to get my rocks off. But I'm finally starting to date and wanted to see if there were people who felt the same so I can overcome this insecurity. I can just imagine the opportunities I've missed.

Congrats. I am looking to start to date as well. I hope he is someone from here :-)

Yes, I am here. I am small (and small friendly) and agree with you.........I certainly don't wish to be huniliated

I'm 50 and my penis is 4.5 inches hard, an inch when soft.

I would date you--to me it isn't the size but quality of person. Plus--I already have a large penis. I have always dated and enjoy smaller men.

I'm 21 year old. I know I have been genetically blessed in couple of different ways. I'm tall, have perfect teeth, bright blue eyes, and I've been told I'm good looking. I'm 21 now and live in an area with plenty of gay bars. When I go out, someone always offers to buy me a drink which is nice when I'm low on money, but I just feel like they are always expecting something in return. When I lost my virginity the guy I was with was WAY to big for a virgin. It wasn't really fun... My **** is 5 inches long and I haven't got much girth. I have always been self conscious about the size of my penis. The last guy I was seeing was was 27 and really great shape. Pretty handsome and well educated. His **** and mine were pretty much identical. It made me not feel so alone. I've definitely turned down hot guys because I thought I was inadequate. It's only when I am totally smashed I just don't give a ****. Or when I find a guy that is like me.

I know I have no control of the size of my ****, and right now I'm just trying to learn how to play the cards I was dealt. I know there are guys all over the world with smaller penises, but this blog really makes me feel a lot less alone.

just looking at your username I thought you were Asian? I am a tall and fit 25 yo Asian with the same problem. I know life is going to be difficult for me but I just have to be strong.

Hey if you are up for some chat send me a message :)

I'm 22. I used to think I was average till I met a guy who got me to measure it. His was massive over 5 inches soft (8.2 hard) where as mine measured 3.8 inches hard. He said it's too small for him. Do you think theirs people that prefers smaller ones?

yes there are that prefers small one!! I have about 6 1/2 inches but on the thin side. I like small ones

I have a small penis and have a deep feeling of affinity with others who also have a small penis..........I love them

I feel your pain. Like you, I have never had anyone say anything negative about my size, until the last guy I dated. I thought my size wasn't an issue. One day, we were joking around and I jokingly said something about getting a size extender...and he actually started having a serious conversation about it. It made me realize that others guys have done the same. I workout daily...I have a six pack and am in great shape, but lately it seems like I'm just meeting guys that are majorly hung. Like you I want to find someone who truly doesn't care....I'm in my 40's now, and when I was younger it never bothered me...but I've avoided sex now on occasions. I hope to find a guy who loves me for me....

So I believe that this topic is old, but for the sake of people still reading, I thought I should post. I was on this site browsing through some other topics, then fell on this one, and I indeed have a lot to say about it.

I am 22 years old, about 6.5 inches, gay, and a bottom. My boyfriend is 23, around 4-4.5 inches, and the best top I have ever been with.

My previous boyfriend was large, something that I, at that point in my life , thought was important. I never had the desire to be a top, as I have more of a submissive nature in the bedroom, so bottoming for this guy who was easily 8 inches, curved and thick, was fun when we were in the starting stages of discovering eachother, i.e. ********, handjobs...but when it came to intercourse, it was a nightmare.

I never let him in all the way, and it could just be me, but it was just not possible, i felt he would rip me open or something. I was never really self-conscious about my size, as most of my sexual experiences prior to me coming out and having sex with men were usually positive ones. But as much as I wanted to bottom for this guy, I couldn't do it without it being a difficult task and sometimes it would get to the point of anger for him and sadness for me.

I went a long time without having sex/dating, until I met my current boyfriend 3 years ago. He's 6'2'', broad and beautiful, a man's man if there ever was. Before we were intimate, I fantasized about him and because my only experiences with guys was my ex with the big penis, I imagined him with one too.

When we began talking about being intimate, he shied away from it quite a bit, to the point where he had to sit me down and 'confess' to me that he was small and that he understood if this was a deal breaker. I was in love with him at this point and to be honest, I clearly remember not caring.

We tried with me as a top for a good while, but I had a lot of issues with it, and by nature he was a top and I was a bottom and we were only going against this for penis size. I told him I didn't care because if he could get it inside me, that's all that I would need.

And he definitely could.

3 years later, sex is still amazing. He can make me gag when I go down on him. He hits the prostate every time, and has given me prostate ******* before. With a bigger than average guy, you must always prepare for sex diligently, (I.E. douching, enema), where a guy who is just enough to rub the prostate well enough, of course you would practice proper hygiene at all times, but there is a spontaneous aspect to it that you couldn't have with carefully planned sex with a donkey penis.

Sorry for the long post, but that being said, I hope that gives some of you hope that there is most defintely people with great personalities and charming aspects who will accept you. Honestly, with my boyfriend, what he lacks in length, he makes up for it in girth. His knob is huge, it's the best thing to suck on, like a spherical lollipop, and even sometimes it takes a little coaxing to get it inside me.

have faith. there is nothing wrong with you. the prostate is 2-3 inches within the rectum, so in my head, at least to me, what's the point of having 8 inches when 4-5 inches is mooooore than enough? Not to hate on those who are bigger, mind, but for those who are smaller, you have what it takes to be tops, don't let mainstream/gay media tell you youre less of a human for it.

Well you guys I am a 25 years old, 6 foot masculine Latino with big arms and a big chest (like a slim beefy football player) I get constant compliments about my good looks but there is only one small thing... I have a 5 inch penis. People assume because I am so "MANLY" that I have magical one. Well thats definitely not the case.
My longest relationship was with a Puerto Rican who actually was in LOVE with me (obsessed even). He said that he didnt like big ones because they hurt. He would even sometimes complain about me??!!!?? He was about maybe 6.5 inches (what I think is huge) but skinny. I thought I was going to marry the dude but sadly I started to find out that he was a felon, liar, manipulator and had an alcohol problem.
To be honest my friends, he gave me the biggest confidence boost EVER!!! To this day I still do feel shy about my size but IT does not stop me from having sex whenever I need it. I do come off as a bottom first in order to make sure I get some though lol Even if its a one night stand I don't really care more. As long as I'm using PROTECTION, worrying about my responsibilities, concentrating on fitness, and finishing school I AM OK!! When I become successful I'm sure I will find someone even if it takes a little bit of money to help. Don't want to seem shallow or materialistic but MONEY TALKS.
All in all CONFIDENCE IS KEY!!!! Goodnight my friends :)

My small penis is destroying my life. I cant "allow" myself to either be close to someone or even have a one night stand. It is destroying my life and soul and pushing me pretty close to the edge of suicide. All guys seem to want huge ***** and you have to be careful with gays because they gossip. I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life - well since late teens (now 33) - and this is another layer of hurt I don't need. I pray one day I find someone who doesn't care but I am fast running out of hope. This is living-pain.

I MUCH prefer them smaller. There are plenty of guys like me out there. You can't give up. You will find someone who accepts you for who you are and not some **** you had no control over.

buddy if you were here in san diego i would totally give you all the love and attention that you need because you should not have to go through that kind of pain. Hugs to you friend. by the way my penis is around 4 inches but it works like a charm. hehe

I am in your case, only much younger. I could really use the support and talking to you...

I will add that 'dating' someone first in my experience to get to know them better doesn't seem to make a huge difference compared to hooking up right away - if size matters to them, then even if you wait until the 8th date, they will dump you. I think trying to find sexual compatibility sooner rather than later is preferable to having your heart crushed from a matter so sensitive.

I agree, just be mindful that if he just came out of a long relationship and continues to see you that "love" is still in his mind. He will not start noticing your penis size until later. It happened to me..

I would usually do the same. Let him know what I have and see if he cares

Hello all,I to have a small penis and I love it.It's 4 or 5" fat and I am a super chubby and I love small penis.To me it sexy and hot to see a small or smaller penis.Mush love and care.So hit he up..( thank you!!

Personally if I'm to be topped from time to time I prefer a less than average penis. Because a large one hurts

My **** is approximately 5" and average in girth. Flaccid it looks small. This is a subject area that as a gay man at age 33 I feel I have sufficient experience to share about. I will admit my motivation is fueled at this point by an unpleasant experience as of late that forced me into sharing on this forum finally.

Starting at age 18 when I came out, I never realized that my **** was small compared to other men. There were no gym locker room experiences, no comparisons to other boys growing up. I just thought of my size as 'normal'. It wasn't until I came out at age 18 that I realized that there was a problem. I would meet guys, we would put our hands down each other's pants and then the guys would turn over and fall asleep. As a result I would go for long periods without searching for sex and only pleasure myself. This contributed to a sense of feeling like a 'non-sexual being' as I related to other gay men. I turned to drugs and alcohol to fill this void for about 4 years from age 20 until age 24 with very little sex during those 4 years - the sexual experiences I did have during this time didn't go well. When I came into a drug-alcohol recovery center at age 24 I became clean and sober and began examining my life under the care of a sponsor and therapist. This helped tremendously to boost my self-esteem despite this ongoing issue.

A common theme I used to run into on older internet forums on this topic focused on 'confidence' as being the solution to the problem. If only I were to express more confidence I would have a better shot at having great sex with repeat performances to follow. I personally find confidence to be an artificial expression of sexuality designed to hide an always-present insecurity.

For me, the solution has been to seek out tops and take my chances. The result has been getting lucky every now and then with tops that don't care about a bottom's **** size. I even was in a 6 month long-distance relationship with a model-looking top in the summer of 2012. I have also met tops that were size queens where it didn't work out. Then there is the issue of meeting a guy who is small (but larger than me) and can sense my insecurity before even taking off our boxers and so he dumps me (which is what happened this past week). I once heard a friend admit to having a small **** but rejecting other guys if they were smaller than he was. And do you know what? I am guilty of doing the same.

I have to keep searching until I find someone where we have sexual chemistry and then hope it continues as long as possible and then when it ends, look for someone else with that same compatibility.

Just my two cents ...

I was scared to even google "gay small ****"

My **** is about 5 inches, 4.5 around and I've always held a really intense insecurity about it. I am 6'1, 200 pounds, was on the football team in high school and have hair on my chest and trying not to sound like a **** but guys are pretty into me, but so many times I've just let guys slip away or pushed them away because I couldn't handle the thought of us having sex once and then never hearing from them again.

I've missed out on so much sex and so many guys because of my sometimes irrational gripping fear that my **** is too small, honestly sometimes in my mind I think it's better that they think I'm the hot guy that got away then them finding out that my **** doesn't necessarily match up with the rest of my otherwise good looking body.

I had my first gay experience when I was 13 and even at that point I knew the guy I was with had a bigger **** than I did and it pissed me off.

Sharing the showers for the first time was terrifying but thank god the guys on the team knew me and liked me and nothing bad was ever said, at least in front of me.

So many people for so long wonder why I'm always perenially single and I've never had the courage to really tell anyone, not even my family.

When I say that this webpage, at this very moment, is the first time I've heard this issue being discussed I'm speaking the truth, I feel like its my own ******* insecurities holding me back from getting into a relationship because I don't think I could handle a guy dumping me and then finding out it was because of my ****.

Because of my physical size and demeanor most guys assume that I'm some kind of macho top with a huge ****, and it makes me angry to think I'm being a ***** by being so insecure and not living up to my potential by avoiding sex and the possible humiliation that would follow.

Other guys mentioned a hook-up or dating website for guys with average to below average **** sizes and I think that it would be a great idea, and make my life and a whole ****-ton of other guys' lives better too.

Just listening to you guys has made things a bit easier...some days are better than others but sometimes I get pretty depressed and I hope that by sharing this little bit I might bring back someone from the edge or encourage them to take a chance and just be comfortable in their own skin.

I was very self-conscious about my size all my life, but being relationship oriented, I've never had any trouble with guys reacting badly. What turned my life around was dating a guy who was about the same size as me (4 inches) and realizing that he was the sexiest guy I'd ever been with. And since then, I prefer short guys. Interesting, huh?

I did read on a survey of gay men that about ten percent of men prefer small penises and 70 percent don't care about size at all.

You'll have to be a little brave here in order to be happy and find true love, but penis size is mighty irrelevant once you start talking about love.

Good luck!

Personally, I think a guy with a small **** is awesome. I mean... I'm saying a person, not his penis, but I don't think bigger means better.

hi gay with small penis. i to am not hung and only 4" hard and small girth. i think most people are brain washed into thinking bigger is better. i too wish i could find a BF who liked me for what i have but i like the barely legal guys which i'll never find one who wants me for me and what i have. it is a burden being small unless u find the right guy.

i feel the same way

Hi, I'm 33, used to be a model til I got "to old" and I'm a lil above average; 7.5 inches. I feel bad for those of you who are having trouble with this issue and I know I cannot understand as well as someone that has a rather small penis can. However, I do want you to know that there is no reason to be ashamed of who you are and what you got. As long as you are an amazing person, with an amazing personality who is loving and caring, your size shouldn't matter. If someone is to shallow to look past that, they don't deserve you. Now, if you're just looking to have sex and that's all the other person is looking for too, sure, you may have a problem. I never understood that lifestyle and have always respected myself to much to just go after sex and nothing else. I think if some of you approached things wanting to date instead of just wanting to hookup, you would meet some quality people. PEACE, LOVE, RESPECT ~ Kevin

Thank you for your comment. I can tell it came from the heart.

hellz yea, thanx for that, kevin. its nice to have an opinion from the other side of the subject. though it sux and really wears on my self esteem, when its all said and done, i feel the same way. it really is all about whats goin on on the inside, cuz really, what do u do after u get off and smoke that cigarette?

Great post, Kevin. I agree with you. Although there were times in my youth, I'm definitely not the type of guy that can just hook-up with someone. I agree that love should embrace acceptance of each other's shortcomings. And I have had the opportunity to chat/talk with some amazing guys on here that would fit that bill. So, although the original post (4 years ago) was more of a plea for help, I think this has turned more into a group discussion and support group. Thanks again for your great words!

I won't repeat everything already said. My situation is a bit worse, but I'm so uncomfortable about it I can't even write about it. The depression brought about by my inability to have a relationship or get close to someone, coupled with the likelihood of that being a situation that will last the rest of my life, has led me to feel suicidal. It's always been in the back of my mind, but each year it's getting stronger and stronger. I'm 26 now and don't know what I'm going to do. In an attempt to fit in with others I've become a total alcoholic and drug abuser because it gives me an escape from the constant cloud of depression. Subliminally I think I'm abusing my body this badly so the choice of death is taken out of my hands. I attract people all the time and have to make excuse after excuse, not just to the people who want to take things further, but friends and family who can't work out why someone like me, who has an outgoing personality and not a bad face has been single their entire life. I've had sex, but only when out of my face. I've never had a *******. I'm ashamed of myself, I hate myself and I don't see it getting any better. However, the replies here have been amazing. It's been nice to see other people understand this burden. So thanks to everyone who has replied, it's at least made tonight easier.

You can't fear rejection. Even people with monster penises get rejected sometimes. If your size really becomes an issue, move on until you find someone that doesn't mind it. You can't just assume nobody is ever going to be interested in you, and give up. There are good people out there. Keep your head up.

Chin up, big guy. I also get questioned as to why I don't date, talk to that guy, etc. I've found that totally digging into a project or hobby is helpful. Sure, it doesn't replace companionship. However, it does bring you closer to people that like the same things as you - a definite first step in the direction of building self-confidence. I've also found that being semi-honest in a group setting has helped. If someone says something about penis size, I do the semi-joking responses like "Yup - I'm hung like a badger." It allowed me to see that the subject isn't too serious - and definitely not anything that should stop us from living a fun life.

I really hope things are getting a little better for you, and come back to check posts if they help. You sound like an asset to the world, and we definitely need you to shine.

I know how you feel. every day i feel like a make a connection just by looking at someones eyes, i am constantly reminded of what i have and i just turn away. maybe one day my fears will go away and i'll just go for it. as of today not one date with anybody...ever but i have to be hopeful.

Wow I am firstly so surprised to see so many responses and so many people sharing the exact same insecurities that I have about myself.<br />
Like so many others have said, it's this exact reason that I still to this day have not ever sought after a relationship.It is one of my biggest insecurities that it dictates how I socialise with people in some ways.<br />
I will always friend zone people I meet purely because I always think they would be horrified to see my body and my size.<br />
So I just always make sure that I'm never a romantic option to anybody by just always saying I really enjoy my singleness.In fairness I actually really do enjoy my singleness and I'm generally not the flirty kind of guy so this particular life style choice was easier for me to make.<br />
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I am just so scared because in the world of gay men, size matters a lot more because I feel in some ways men are more sexually driven than females, and so bringing that into an equation of two men and it's common to see hypersexuality almost.I mean, the only readily available media portrayal of gay men is mostly to do with the 'internet' (ahem lol) which just feeds the drive wanting 'bigger' sizes and the insecurity of being smaller.<br />
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Since people have openly shared their sizes, I will return the deed so that I can add to people feeling a little more empowered knowing that they aren't alone and that there is someone out there who is your size also.<br />
My penis size is 12cm erect, just short of 5 inches and it's girth is roughly 4.3 to 4.5 inches circumference. <br />
My penis has a slight bend to it reducing my potential length by 1-1.5cm so it could have actually just reached a little over the 5 inches mark if it were straight.<br />
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I'm so glad I happened to find this because even though it might be a smaller (not pun intended lol) community, I feel like I can be happier and be myself here and not have to worry so much about size.<br />
It gets tiring constantly having your guard up so I feel like I can relax and just be in good company :)<br />
Thank you to all who have shared your sizes and stories, it really actually helped encourage me to not feel so 'ashamed' of my own body.