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A Lonely Life Because Of A Small Penis

I have a small thin penis. Its always bothered me. In highschool I never took a shower in gym class. Thats a big giveaway right there I guess. Problem was I was one of the tough kids in high school. Ended up geting expelled my second year. I was a tough guy but afraid of girls because of my small ******. Of course I never let on but as time went on other kids would ask me " so who are you going out with now" I would always say.." no one right now" but as time went on they got suspicuious cause I just was never around when it came time to pick up girls. I did have a girlfriend in 8th grade and high school. In fact I was the first kid on my block to be getting it (*****). She was my first and I was her first so she could not really be a judge. We would mostly have oral sex but we did have intercourse once. I prematurely ********** and of course thought there was something wrong with me. I was 13. We tried it a few more times and the same thing happed so we went back to oral but eventualy we broke up after I left high school. I was with her for 3 years from 8th grade to second year of HS. After Joan....lets call her Joan. I never dated again. I was petrified because of my small ******. I think she went around telling everyone about how small it was. Now that she was dating around she was enjoying what real penis's were like. There was this other girl in my HS who was notorious for giving BJ's. She would ask guys for a ride home and then when they drooped her off she would give them a BJ in front seat. Well.........I asked if I could take her home once I got my car but she was not interested. I think our friend Joan spelled the beans. I discovered I was bi sexual and started cruising gay areas to get BJ's. After all boys don't live on bread alone. So at the age of 16 I would go to these gay hangouts where older men would pay me 20 dollars to give me a BJ. It was a great way to supplement my income and can you emagian what it was like for a 16 yo to get a BJ when ever he desired it. I had to plan and scheme with girls but this was so easy. I was getting blown a few times a week. As I got older say about 18 the BJ's stopped. I was not young enough to satisfy the trolls any more and since I had a tiny penis I could not get anything any more. Guys would bring me to the car or to their house and take one look at my junk and say....I'm sorry I have to go. Or my wife may come home or some bullshit excuse. Once a guy took me into the woods and fell to his knees in submission befor me , unbugled my pants and took it out and just got up and walked away. Can you imagine the humiliation. I became a recluse because people were constantly asking me who I was going out with. I was supposed to have a girl. So to avoid that I just stayed home most of my late teens and early 20's. I'm now 59 and have never dated. Guys don't want me because I'm so small. I seem to attract guys who like macho men and women who like aggressive men but I am deathly afraid of both. I have a very Macho Italian name which I hate. It seems to attract all the wrong people. I have been thinking of taking hormones and getting a female body. Maybe that is the solution. I am very lonely......all because of a small ****. Darin
darinblackwhite darinblackwhite 56-60 2 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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I am over 70 and have had a number of male friends, all with much bigger ***** than mine. In pretty well all cases we have discussed my small size but I have never been made to feel bad because of it. In fact, I believe that a man likes a partner with a smaller **** (I certainly would) as it enhances their own masculinity. This is reinforced if one wears feminine lingerie as I do. Many have commented how nice it is to be able to get the whole **** in their mouth and some have even taken in my balls as well. In earlier days another guy was much more comfortable with being ****** as penetation was easy.

How sad. People can be very thoughtless. I used to have the same anxiety. I never went looking for sex and have only had one boy friend - he picked me up. He told me he liked my **** and as his was the same size as mine there was never a problem in that respect. I hope you find someone to like and who likes you.

Thanks for the response. Glad I found this site. Its so nice to be able to talk about this stuff. You must be a young man. I hope your relationship lasts. I still can't understand how a thing like this could affect a persons entire life. Part of my problem is for some reason people expect me to be large. Its my name and ethnic background. Italians are supposed to have big ones but not in my case. I attract guys who are passive and women that are passive and want aggressive men. with big peckers. Maby I should wear a pin that says....I do not have a big one.

I am fifty eight. And, in fact, I have not seen the man I spoke about for six years, and have not had a boy friend since.