My Soldier

Monday morning my boyfriend of almost one year left for basic training (Infantry) in Fort Benning Georgia. Early that morning he picked me up for classes one last time (he took me most mornings) so that we were able to have one final goodbye. The fact that he was leaving never quite hit me until Saturday. Sunday was fine. Monday I tried to be strong for the both of us, unfortunately I wasn't able to keep myself together on the way to my classes. I think the best quality that my boyfriend has is the fact that he's able to make me laugh no matter how serious or upsetting the situation may be. So, he made the whole situation seem lighter than it truly was, which made it easier for me to accept the fact that he was leaving. My last words to him were "I love you, see you in April" and with that we kissed goodbye and he drove off. That was probably one of the hardest moments I have ever experienced. Something else that made it a little easier was that we had already done this 'song and dance' once before in early September. He originally didn't make it through MEPS due to a health issue, and was sent home. This brought about a lot of tension between us and about two months later he broke up with me, unsure of the path he wanted to take to start his life. I thank God so much for the timing because had he left in September I don't think we were strong enough to make it through the draining 14 weeks of being apart. Many things would have been left unsaid. The fact that we both had time apart during the break-up allowed us both to reevaluate our lives and made us realize what we wanted...and we both wanted one another. Getting over that bump in the road, and getting back together, made us the strongest we have ever been. This is when he decided to reenlist which takes me back to my story. I was able to talk to him on his way to Buffalo and that night when he stayed in a hotel. We talked about a million and one things but he kept mentioning that he was nervous to be sent home again...I knew he would make it through though and I reassured him. The next morning I talked to him on the phone before he left for MEPS and wished him the best of luck. Later, while in class I got a text from him saying that he had made it through! I was and still am so happy and proud of him mainly because he was determined to follow him dreams of being a soldier. But, a little part of me was upset. I didn't want him to be sent home but I kept thinking if he did we would be together, and that's all I wanted and still do want. It's hard not stepping on his toes and getting in the way of his dreams but it's hard being away from someone who is such a huge part of your life. So, the next time I talked to him was when he reached the airport. I wished him a safe flight and he promised to call that night. I got a text when he was getting off of the plane and after that he wasn't replying...most likely because he was on the bus headed toward Fort Benning. I got one more message from him around midnight saying "I love you, please don't forget that. I'll call you as soon as I can". The next night I got a phone call from him because his sargent was nice enough to let him use his phone one last time until it needed to be taken. He was in his room that he's sharing with about 20 other guys. While talking to him I broke down over the phone and he said that he regretted going and that he never thought he'd miss me this much. He began to break down in front of all the guys in his room while he was on the phone with me and I just felt terrible. It's nice to know that he loves me that much, where he doesn't care what others think when it comes to his feelings towards me. After talking on the phone he was able to text me, said he can call once this weekend, and told me he loved me. As of right now this is the last contact I had with him, but that phone call has been able to get me through all of last night and today so far. I also found out while on the phone with him that his basic training doesn't officially start until this coming Friday, so I will not be seeing him until Early May. One thing that my boyfriend says that keeps sticking with me is something he sent in a text saying "Right now it's like we're being shot at from behind bullet-proof glass, this experience can't hurt us...we're too strong" Something about that is quite comforting to me. These past few days have been hard but I'm looking forward to his call though it may be his last. I'm also looking forward to the letters that are soon to come. The main reason why I joined this site is because there's no one that I know, that understands this same feeling. Most of my friends have told me to brush it off or in nice terms... to suck it up and quit talking about it. At least that's the impression I get from them. I need to talk to people who understand! If you're reading this and are in a similar situation, maybe you have advice, or just want to talk...feel free to message me. This is all new to me right now and I would love someone to talk to!