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My Son Was Molested By His Father When He Was 4

  On my son's first visit to the barracks on a weekend alone with his father, he was molested.  This was the biggest mistake I think I ever made.  I am one of those mothers who was always afraid of being accused of touching his son the wrong way so I had his father to bathe him and dress him.  All of a sudden, it seemed to "backfire".  My now ex husband was in the Army National Guard and  at the time he was put on Homeland Security and was placed in the Barracks away from home so he got to see our son on weekends so I let our son go up for a weekend alone.  When I went to pick him up, I had car trouble so the following weekend I found out that his father had touched him inappropriately.  
   Now, 4 years later, my son is in therapy in a children's home, and I am only able to see him once a week because he is a threat to himself and to others and the therapists all say this is a result of what happened to him.  They are calling this PTSD, and ODD.

  The sad part of the whole thing is, we come from a long line of molested individuals and we must stop this now.
 

shaunsgyrl shaunsgyrl 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2008

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My son is 6 now and he will not tell me about being molested by his dad because he says that he is embarrassed I found out about it because my ex husband was put in jail sept. 2010 for child *********** I couldn't believe it we were seperated since june 2008 so I never knew He got out of jail oct 2012 but put on the list for molesters and is mandated to do a polygraph test which he admitted to molesting our son it must have started when my son was 4 this breaks my heart my ex is back in jail for molesting our son. I feel for you and your family and will pray that things get better.

first of all, this is not your fault. you aren't responsible for how your ex behaves with your son, you're individuals and he can think for himself and should have known that was very wrong. <br />
second- you can deal with this in two ways, the negative way which would be feeling bad and punishing yourself and everyone around you for it, or the positive way- which would be getting a grip, realizing that this is a step in his life, it shouldn't be forgotten but it should be overcome. There are so many great things out there for your son to see, learn and do, this shouldn't be something that holds him back - it should be something that pushes him forward.<br />
I wish you all the luck with your son and remember, when you're spending time with him, you're doing it because you're his mother and you want him to do well and be well, being positive and smiling to him will make the difference:)