A Sad StoryI was careless with an ex-gf of mine, and she got pregnant. I have not paid a cent in support, nor have I been anywhere near him. Of course, that is exactly 100% of my income now, so it's not like I'm rolling in the lap of luxury while they live in poverty. Actually, it's the other way around. Before I made the choice to give away all my property and live without income, I offered it all to her, and she refused because she doesn't need it; married into money. Edit: Try to resist the urge to comment until you've read the whole story.
Being in love makes a person do really stupid things, like trust someone that doesn't deserve trust. I wasn't ready for a child, knowing that I had not overcome the issues my father had passed on to me. I did not want to watch myself become like him, so I wanted to talk about abortion, but it was a non-issue for her. She needed a purpose for her life, and saw this was her opportunity. It wasn't about bringing a life into the world responsibly, it was simply for her own gratification. Abortion was not an option, and the fact that I was bringing it up suddenly meant I was a murderer.
She brought four people with her, one woman and three big guys, to my apartment who were very abusive to me. They tried to physically restrain me in my own place, because she had told them I was threatening her with violence, and that I wanted to murder her child. I guess they were relatives of hers, and one of them said in his mind someone who would consider abortion is a murderer and should be treated as such, so I can see where she gets her ideas from. She took her stuff and moved out of the province, and who knows where she went.
I don't blame her. Her father supposedly had tried to cause her mother to miscarry, and she's got all kinds of damage from her upbringing from her neurotic mother, and from being molested by her step father. I know why she is the way she is, and I do forgive her for all the ways she has wronged me and my kin. After all, how can she help what she is? I was a very damaged person myself, which is why I attracted someone like her in the first place. Its just so sad to me that a little boy has been brought into the world in the middle of this ****** up situation, but I suppose there are kids born who have it far worse. And looking at the situation now, I can see that adversity is not a bad thing, and that a life can turn out much the better for having been through a rough situation.
I have tried three or four times to make peace with my ex so that I could see my son but she has a way of driving me off, calling me horrible things and setting unreasonable conditions that I would have to follow. I know I could've made a warzone out of it, but I grew up in a parental warzone, I would rather just let her have her way than do that to a child. This last time I came to her, I offered her everything I had, and anything she wanted me to do. I would have been her house servant... I would've let her use my skin as a canvas to practice tattooing on. Anything she wanted, that is what I offered her.
She doesn't need anything from me, she's got another man who she is pregnant again by who is all the support she thinks she needs, and I'm just a piece of **** to her.
She says when my son is old enough she will tell him about me. I can only imagine how that conversation will go. I would like a chance to be his friend, since I didn't get the chance to be his dad. I can only pray that when he calls, I will have the right words.
NeonBlueMidnight 26-30, M 31 Responses 9 Jun 9, 2011