Adhd and developmental problems. I think it was a brain haemorrhage at birth. She has the mental age of about a 7 year old in a 13 year olds body, and she is not catching up. She was a very premature baby as well.
I feel so sorry for my Mum. She doesn't deserve the stress that my sister puts the family through, but as we all know the universe doesn't give any special treatment. I've told her she should consider sending my sister to a special school on the south-island, but she is unlikely to... she worries it will break my sisters heart, and she feels that my step-dad wouldn't be happy with sending his daughter away (Apparently he put up a slight fight when I was sent to my boarding school almost ten years ago).
The worst thing is that as delayed as her development is, she has a spark that can make her even more trouble. She can push buttons like a pro to get attention, and then cry like a refugee to get back on your good side. Some people say she looks far wiser then she is supposably, but the truth is that her behaviour shifts rapidly. She might seem like nothing more then a naughty girl if you visit us, but the moment you leave she is likely to revert to unravelling the strings of sanity… asking the same questions endlessly, hurting the animals on the farm, hurting herself, picking scabs so they never heal, going through bedrooms, following like a shadow.
She was a trying fixture in my childhood, and is now a heavy responsibility to my family. My other sister will not suffer like I did; things have changed n the family since my childhood, now she will have the freedom of the farm and the company of the horses where I had only my books and small back-yard to escape into.
In the nineties a single mother under extreme strain drowned her mentally disabled child, it was a big media story, the healthcare industry was figured for not providing the support. But there’s nothing you can do in cases like this, my mum has tried every technique under the sun in New Zealand, recently my grandmother funded thousands for mental training up here in the city, which my mother has cancelled after 6 months with no change in my sister but lots of $ spent. My mums strain shows in her reaction to that drowning story, she said ‘I understand why she did it’, and to tell you the truth so do I.
I give my mother the ultimate respect for her life work, work that has years to go.
Going home is a time of mixed feelings for me.