I Think I Have A Sp

I'm pretty sure she's a split personality... She's nothing like me... Sorry. I should start at the beginning. For awhile now there's been this voice in the back of my head. And sometimes Ill black out. At first I just shrugged it off, but now that I've actually talked to her things have changed. The black outs happen more often, and when I get in arguments with someone she'll just take over and let me watch. Unable to stop saying regretable things. Her name's Kendra. I've tried to tell my friends. but I think they think I'm joking about her. They think I'm joking when Kendra says she wouldn't hesitate to cut open their flesh and just burry her hands in their sweet, smooth blood. I guess I should tell you more about me and less about her now.

I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm not popular, nor pretty. I don't have the best of grades, nor the best relationship with my family. Actually I hate them. They've never done anything wrong to me. The raised me the best any parent could. They've never hit me or abused me. I just hate their guts. Mostly my mom. We fight a lot. Sorry, I'm babbling. Onto the main subject.

I'm not to sure what to do. I'm actually starting to get scared of Kendra. I'm afraid she might actually hurt someone soon. No I take that back. If I tell you I'm afraid you'll tell me to get help, and that's the last thing Ill do. Like I need an overpaid therapist to tell me something I already know then put me on drugs that well just make me high, or give Kendra the chance to overdose and kill us both.

Lately she's been the inspiration of a lot of my stories and art work. And now that I've listened to her, she has a lot of great ideas. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to just give into the pit of darkness in my head. If i do that maybe she'll get caught and placed in a asylum... As least there she can stay away from anything that could harm someone... Well, until lunch... Spoons, forks, butter knives... You'd be surprised what a spoon and a little imagination can do.

Its been three months now. Me and her get along much better. She's my closest friend. I'm growing more and more distant from people. But that's okay. I have Kendra.

Everything and the things I choose not to say are real. This is not a teenager crying out for attention. This is me. You may argue and say "If it isn't a cry for attention, then why did you post this?" and for an answer, I'm not to sure why I felt the need to write this.

Farewell,

Kendra/Kim

FracturedIdentity FracturedIdentity
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 7, 2010

I will echo Inuit's last point and say: Try not to grow any more distant; Isolation is really not good for you. Talking to people is good for you.

HAVE U GO AN DISORDER

Hi ya,<br />
<br />
I am 45, had homocidal tendancies from 5-20 years old and acted on them, as well as suicidal from 10 - 42. It's a pretty crazy trip. I do not have a criminal record. I have been in counselling and medication since I was about 10, it doesnt help. Keep talking to people so you don't feel weird, different, crazy, or insane.

THAT IS REALLY A SPLIT PERSONALITY THEN ITS HARD TO BELEVE

i DONT KN WOT TO SAY OH MY SO U BECOME HER