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Don't Know If I Can Do This Anymore!

Where do I begin? I met a man 7 years ago who was perfect, my everything. There were times he acted different but I just thought he was weird, in a good way. We were together for a little over year when we got married. And that's when things started to turn. He went through a bad custody battle with his ex. And that's when the other personalities came out in full force. 1 of them Is very depressed and always wants to kill himself. 2 of them like to hit me, and are extremely violence. I've had to cover up so many holes in the walls because of them. The other 1 is a take control kind of a person. And my husband I haven't seen in a while. We've been married now for 5 years. I've been to the hospital so many times with broken bones and bruises. I've tried seeing help from family and friends but they won't help me anymore. They all think I'm crazy cuz I won't leave him. But the thing is is I know my real husbands in there somewhere. He comes out occasionally for a couple hours up to a day. And when he does life is great and I fall in love with him over again. But then 1 thing happens and it triggers the other personalities. I just don't know what to do anymore.
dragonflydpark dragonflydpark 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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Hi,

The host of the body is usually depressed. I am more than sure the one you call your husband is an alter as well. My story is similar to yours. I actually dated and went on to marry two of my husband's alters and the host at the time. I did not know he was DID until six years later.

We had our share of fights and I wouldn't back down. I also new how far to go. I have been slapped and choked before. I have never had any broken bones or needed medical care.

When I realized it was DID and they were other personalities I was fighting with. I stopped. I told them I wasn't playing their game anymore. They began to respect me and see that the arguing wasn't going to go anywhere. We rarely argue now and all in the system love me and would protect me with their own lives.

You definately don't need to stay in a relationship where you are going to be abused like that. He needs to get help and if not on meds get that as well.

I know the one you love is in there, but I can hardly see how anything is going to get better if they don't get the help they need. You really need the system as a whole to love and respect you as well.

Protect yourself. Men with DID can be dangerous because of the rage they hold. With therapy they can learn how to release and control the rage. They can all learn the skills needed and what their triggers are.

Certain times of the year are triggers for some. No what his triggers are and try to keep him from them. My advice would be not to argue back with them. When you do it just brings the protectors that are connected to the rage out and that is never good.

Take care,

Lisa

Hi, I'm in the same boat. Jason has a very violent alter the other evening he shook me by my head so violently that I lost some hair. It was so scary I through him out just to find hil later in fetal position crying after shifting again. The next morning he didt remember a thing and when I told him I was scared that the suicidal one would come out because he broke down so badly.....he was a wreck. We decided to get him on ssi and he is trying to get into a hospital in new orleans which is supposed to be a gret one for mpd. Its the oddest mixture of emotion being so deeply in love with jason and terified of the other. I feel so betrayed and its so hard not to take it out on jason. And it feels weird to be held while I cry in the arms that hut me. I pray that this treatment program can happen its so hard to get help and what you can find is so expensive but it has to happen or I will have to leave the man that I've loved like no other...

I don't know if this is possible. But I'm afraid my husband has more than 1 disorder. Not only does he have the dissociative identity disorder. I also believe he has borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder. Can he have all 3? Because for the past 3 years I have done a lot of research, and he has all 3 personality symptoms. And I can't get him back to the therapist To find out if he has these other 2 Personality disorders. But like my story says I need help With him.

I'm not sure about all that. You are probably just seeing different alters. They are all different. I know you can be DID and bi-polar as well. He has got to want to get help. You can make him. Do encourage it, but not at the cost of your own safety.

I don't know if this is possible. But I'm afraid my husband has more than 1 disorder. Not only does he have the dissociative identity disorder. I also believe he has borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder. Can he have all 3? Because for the past 3 years I have done a lot of research, and he has all 3 personality symptoms. And I can't get him back to the therapist To find out if he has these other 2 Personality disorders. But like my story says I need help With him.

I don't know if this is possible. But I'm afraid my husband has more than 1 disorder. Not only does he have the dissociative identity disorder. I also believe he has borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder. Can he have all 3? Because for the past 3 years I have done a lot of research, and he has all 3 personality symptoms. And I can't get him back to the therapist To find out if he has these other 2 Personality disorders. But like my story says I need help With him.