I am with a complicated but amazing woman who has been living well with her personalities integrated for over 5 years. During the last year she has been gradually changing, and at first I thought it was the normal person kind of growing. However, recently some destructive and telling behaviors have me suspecting one personality has reemerge as dominant. This personality is much more independent and distant from me. I want to be there for her as I have for 8 years but am not sure how to mention my suspicion without pushing buttons of intrusiveness that are so sensitive to this personality.
Ccsanity Ccsanity
41-45, F
3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

Have you read any research on the problem theory?

Hi, I understand as I have been with my friend for the passed 16years and honesty is the best way to deal with a situation. First check it is your spouse that is out and broach the subject. Destructive personalities are the most hurting and need help, therapy.
If u think it is safe for you then I would talk to the other personality and take a stand, you would know the situation better than I.
I have had to deal with personalities who hurt my friend and don't want to speak to me etc etc and with the help of her therapist things seem a lot better now. :)

Have you tried writing that personality a letter?

No. I have written out my observations and opinions on what is going on with a possibility of polishing and sharing, but never thought of it as writing to anyone other than my integrated partner. I will consider that.

Agree with BrokenOneX some personalities feel more at ease to write than to speak face to face as they find eye contact too much. Also expressing their feelings or emotions is not always easy for them. :)

Exactly, some of my alters only communicate with my husband via text or email.

Some of my friends alters are so small and can only use pictures and others only talk to the therapist and later I sit in the sessions to get to meet and hear what the other alter is going through. This helps me to understand how to handle the situation better and they begin to see me not as a threat but a friend who can help everyone.

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