Energy Vampire

I met a same sex friend at work and our children became friends.  Because of our children, I stayed friends with this person way longer than I should.  She has a lot of illnesses and problems.  She repeats herself three times every time she speaks but I thought that was because her child has a hearing problem.  Then one day she gave me a sexually oriented gift.  The way she laughed I thought it was a gag.  Then she said she was not getting what she needed from her man, so I told her I'm not interested.  In my ignorance I hoped she would get over it.

The next clue was when something good happened to me but she was not happy for me.  The more good fortune I had, the more sour and dour she became.  I thought it would be nice if our children spent a holiday event together and invited them to my house, but instead she insisted that we go as a group to a public housing project, knowing I would say no, because it made no sense.  When I said no, she began to berate me.  I was astonished!

I tried to take a spiritual approach and for a long while things were more or less neutral, as long as I put up with her wierdness.  Slowly she began to take up more and more of my time at work with her problems and complaints, but they seemed like the worst run of bad luck any one could have so I endured it.  I noticed that she wouldn't follow simple common sense advice, making her own problems worse, but continuing to complain. 

She began to moan and groan out loud at work and wring her hands.  My job became very busy.  Then the criticisms started over everything about me she could name.  She would stand over me and say nothing.  she became my shadow.  I couldn't get rid of her.  My co-workers started accompanying me.  I started getting up from my desk and walking away.

The next thing I know she made sure that she was always in my path.  Everywhere I glanced, there she was, slightly askew.  She kept following me and making speeches, asking for time alone.  Then she was waiting in her car.  Next, personal items in my office related to my husband and child were found turned upside down.  Finally, she began to change the thermostat, walk the halls with loud keys jangling, and make undue noise in the adjoining office.  She began to slam the door repeatedly for a whole day.  But she would only do it when no witnesses were around.

I finally made a complaint to the bosses, and we decided to log her actions.  TG, I finally did that because the action then became street theater.  She waited for me to exit the building having moved her car beside mine.  When I walked behind the car she tapped her brakes, but didn't leave.  As I got in she still didn't leave and was still sitting there when I left, so I guess she wasn't in such a hurry after all!  LOL! 

The bosses have told me in an e-mail they will be handling this matter immediately and they must have since she slammed out of here.  I've requested to move, but she still crowds me in the mail room.  When she is sick she likes to heave a breath of air at me in hopes that I will have a negative life event which can't be blamed on her, but, too bad she did it with someone nearby who became a witness.

I could have mitigated all this by realising that my tolerance of her was her go ahead signal.  I really tried to kindly face her problems head on, but I learned that was not a healthy relationship so it didn't matter what I said; in fact the more I asked her to stop, the more she did it.  I have totally learned a lot about how to fight back, and I am proud of changes I made.