Heartache And Confusion... And Pet Custody...

Wow... ok, lets try to tell the story. I am 25 and been through, well, 3 serious relationships including my first love in high school. Travis and I made our relationship official almost exactly a year ago today. I had ended a 5-6 year relationship with another man just 4 months before Travis and I started hanging out. The previous relationship ended because we both had just had enough, we were NOT meant to be and he was an untrustworthy alcoholic. Travis is wonderful. The first night we hung out, I ended up staying with him after that first night we did not spend a night without each other for nearly 6 months. We clicked instantly, I had never felt so comfortable around someone, I’d never been able to just talk and laugh with someone so naturally. We quickly fell in love and established our relationship, I moved in, within a month we bought an adorable Springer Spaniel together and life seemed to be nothing short of perfect. The only unfortunate thing was my issue with trusting men, all men in general. And I can admit now, I didn’t trust Travis at first, although I tried my hardest not to make that obvious, but eventually within the year we were together I realized he would never cheat on me. But, just a month of so ago I found Travis to be acting strange. He didn’t laugh as much; he wasn’t affectionate and didn’t seem to want to spend any time with me. It was like a light switch, his mood changed so quickly. I tried to shrug it off as one of his moods, he had many, and I always just gave him his space to work through it. Eventually I felt like I had to confront the situation. I asked him why he seemed so unhappy and if there was something I could do to help. He told me he had been unhappy for MONTHS and he DIDN’T THINK WE CLICKED ANYMORE. I was so upset, I recalled thinking he was “the one” and that he was my best friend and all along he was thinking we didn’t click anymore??? I told him I would try to improve my mood and such and we would work through this. But… unfortunately, things only got worse. Travis just seemed to pull further away from me. I tried everything, making plans with his best friends, doing all the things he enjoyed doing, let him go out with his friends and never question it. I was doing ANYTHING I could to make him happier and was making myself unhappy in the process. I sat him down many times and tried to get him to talk to me, about anything. I told him not matter what I would not give up on us and I’d be there for him. I promised him we’d worth through this. Just last Saturday, the day before we ended things, we attended the wedding of one of his family members. He didn’t tell me I looked nice (like he use to), he wouldn’t even give me an honest opinion of which earrings I should wear. At the wedding, he didn’t introduce me to anyone; he never held my hand or even put an arm around me. He was still a gentleman as always, just not the man I fell in love with. We went home that night and he seemed so miserable so I just went to bed. That morning I woke up to an empty bed, he was sulking on the couch. I just looked at him and said “I’m leaving today” and he just shrugged his shoulders. I sat down and calmly asked him whether he even cared and he said he didn’t know (that was the answer to everything, “I don’t know; whats wrong with me, why I feel like this,” ect…) he said there were so many little things that I did to make him unhappy that he just couldn’t be happy with me any longer. I left. I made two trips to his home to retrieve belongings, the first time he hid in his basement and never said ‘bye’, he was gone by the time I got back the second time. He texted me that night and said he was sorry, he never meant to hurt me and we could work something out so I could still see my dog. A few days later I went to visit my dog and as we both stood there crying, I asked if this is what he really wanted and he said yes. I feel so crushed. I honestly thought this guy was THE ONE. We built a beautiful, functioning little life together and I don’t understand when and where it went wrong. I do, however, feel like POSSIBLY his little brother’s girlfriend cheating rendezvous may have made him back away from me? It happened around the time I noticed his behavior changing. Its such a complicated story that I just can’t seem to figure out where it ended. He’s set in his way, he says we cannot be together, and I’m just grasping at hope, wishing he’d change his mind. I’m also heartbroken about my dog. She is my whole life and now I’m unsure of how often I’ll be able to see her. Currently his brother is telling me I should forget about the dog and move on, walk away… and it’s hurtful.
Does anyone have anything they can tell me… I’ve never felt so lost and alone.

Do you think he's just blaming his unhappiness on me? Or is it me? Is he depressed and unsure how to deal? Is there hope?
Any advice or insight would be helpful...
mainahgal mainahgal
Aug 29, 2012