Tell Me I Didn't.

I don't drink a lot, but when I do drink, I get wasted. When I do something, I do it right or I don't do it at all. I mean, why drink at all if you don't plan on getting drunk? Get a Pepsi, you wuss!

Anyway, I went out with some friends and we all got totally wrecked. I don't remember anything at all except for this smell, like oranges and stale beer breath. Gross! I woke up the next morning with the sun burning my eyes like dry leaves and my brains oozing outta my ears. There was a lot of cussing and general blasephmy of the higher power and then I realized that I couldn't find my clothes and there was a stranger in my bed.

My initial instict was to scream bloody murder but seeing as she seemed to have misplaced her clothes as well, I reckoned I had better find out what in Sam's holy hell was going on. So I kind of poked her. Honestly, I was afraind to touch her. What I wanted more than anything was to press a pillow over her face and smother her for drooling on my stomach. After considerable more prodding, she woke up. She blinked and yawned and I couldn't help but notice that she had very pretty eyes. She grinned at me and said, "Dont I get a kiss?"

To which I replied, "Not with that ******* breath!"

so the moral of this story is, order a pepsi and if you wake up with a stranger, sprint for the hospital as fast as you can. And then come back for seconds.
deleted deleted
4 Responses Mar 11, 2010

Well it all worked out. So here it goes. I was on a road trip that I had saved up for all year. So day four or so I parked my motorcycle at my hotel cleaned up and went down stairs to the bestro for a good steak . It was a nice laid back place and the couple next to me smiled and put their open bottle of wine on my table when they left. I was only 19 but was told I looked older than I was before. The place got full so I told some people they could share my table.
The morning sun shined in my eyes through the hotel window and I did as always said good morning lord as I did a big stretch. Good grief there I was naked. But holding me was a beautiful woman. My mouth was dry I had to P and I was getting a huge morning *****. I was also hopelessly wrapped in a sheet and gripped around the middle by a beautiful sandy brown blondish girl who muttered something but was very asleep. Anxiety had me and I couldn't breath no matter how I tried . My veins were popping out of my neck as I felt I was having a heart attack or a stroke . Then a hay hay hay muttered from my bed partner as I was having chest pains. The arm around my middle released and then slapped my chest hard . A very loud HAY came from her as her eyes opened saying chill out and lay down. I fell back and she pulled me close and grabbed my rageing erection. Does this thing ever give you a break, she said pulling her long hair that was everywhere to the side. Her eyes were brown and her complexion was perfect. She kissed me on the lips with the softest kiss, but my attention was on her grip as she held my throbbing member. She pulled the blanket and sheet back and put her mouth on me down there and it was the most amazing feeling. After a few seconds she came up good morning . I always wanted to do that. I was speechless and she said I don't care what you say I want to try woman on top , you had me under you all night. I think I got a "but I "out of my mouth. I can do this , I don't need your help she said shushing me. Then I saw her figure . She had small soft round breast with very large light brown aerolas I think they call them. She was a medium light build very strong arms and hands though lean. She strattled me and my mind said yes ! My thoughts were, I am going to make love get ready you have waited your life for this. She guided me to the entrance and worked her way down on me. Oh my gosh I sat up and then back down. Careful there cowboy I'm controling this ride. You rode me pretty rough last nite. Oooooh boy I think your bigger this morning. She was just positioning herself and I was gripping the sheets. This is harder than it looks she said still bumping things around in her . I wasn't complaining I was partly in a glory hole feelings I had never felt before. Oh that's it she said as she sank down on me . This is perfect she said and started her ocean motion. I expected to blow off right away but she orgasmed first and in like ten minutes so did I. My hands were on her hips as she just sat on me in the after glow. Then my mind said sh*t where is your condom. Look at me she said where did your mind go? I didn't matter my ***** were long gone up her love canal. If there was a fertle egg up there some where they found it. Focus on me a minute . I lost you a few times last night . She pointed two fingers at my eyes then hers. There you are she said to me . Still on top of me I was going limp and she said don't worry about your student loan. When we get to Phoenix I get a few things from my room mate and we can keep going west. I must of told my life story . She then lay full frontal on me and sneezed. Of course my member poped out at the sneeze which made both of us laugh. Then we got caught up kissing which messed with my head because a few girls said I was a terrible kisser. Then I got an erection and rolled her over and tried to put it in but could not. Remember what I said last night. Do you remember what I said? No No No . Honestly I don't remember any thing . I don't ! Nothing? She asked. I stopped trying to get in. She looked at my face. Nothing. You have a mental condition you don't remember the nite before? I remember my whole life but not last night. What's my name she asked. I shook my head. Where am I from ? Phoenix , I guess . No that's just last week. Then she told me all about me and she missed nothing. I told her I was a virgin. You don't remember making love for the first time. No I told you No. Why don't you remember she asked there has to be a reason. You were drinking wine with friends when we came in. Yea I was , but I don't drink. We there were two bottles empty when I sat down and we drank a bottle between us. So you were drunk and I gave you two more glasses of wine. What funny is I'm only 19 and I can't buy wine. No way your 19 , I'm 17 and they never carded me . Any way what I said last night was . When you get your thing right up touching my clitoris. Rub it around and say relax . If you push I just get real tight. Then I will say go ahead and I'll focus on relaxing to get you in. Once your in I'm good and don't close up any more. So I rolled it around and said relax. And I went right in. As I was making love she told me her name and life story . We never spent a day apart since . She gave me four baby girls before we stopped having children .

I can honestly say never done that but I need to party with my girls keeping a close eye on me cuz when I'm messed up it doesn't matter what gender you are I WILL hit on you lol

Kind of rude. Isn't it? I mean someone took the time to notice you and wasted or not ended up going home with you. You want to smother her face?

Been there, done that, got tested.