Inner Demons

I have written on this subject in another group, so I will be brief:

There are three kinds of people.  There are those who refuse to acknowledge their inner darkness.  They pretend it isn't there, and look down on others who display too much darkness.  Often these are people that pretend to be overly virtuous or pious, because they need to hide in those communities to support their belief there is nothing dark inside them.  They take refuge in "society" and all its regularity and comforts, because in conformity, there is peace and security from those who are more comfortable with their dark sides.

There are those who know the darkness is there, inside themselves and others, but restrain it deliberately.  This comes in several forms as well.  Some hide it from the world and only exercise it in private.  Often, these are people that engage in self-destructive behavior such as cutting.  They perceive their darkness as a burden, something with which they are cursed.  They are uncomfortable people, because even though they agree to some extent that their inner beast is evil, they are frightened by the pleasure it promises, and disturbed by how much they secretly enjoy the feeling.  This group also includes those who take cheap thrills in certain forms of public behavior that involves a mask, such as the shoplifters, grifters, cheating spouses or road ragers.  Often, their darknesses come from a feeling of great unhappiness with everything mundane, and the thrill brought about by doing something they could get caught doing, because part of them feels they ought to be.

Then, there are those who embrace it fully.  They act it out in public, in all forms.  These are the rarest kind, because they don't fear or shun their inner darkness.  Indeed, they don't care at all what society would say about who they are, and often it is only the legal penalties for their actions that prevent them from doing what they really want.  This group includes people whom society would frown greatly upon, because they don't fear rules, and don't blindly obey.  These people are truly free.

That is the nature of is our potential.  It would be be truly free of all you think?

flirtswithdisaster flirtswithdisaster
26-30, M
9 Responses Aug 19, 2007

Amen I say to you.

wonderful and has power of spurce.keep up.<br />
<br />

Good luck with your endeavors. For now, I relish in the moments I can release the darkness. I wonder why we spend so much time hiding it, but as a student of politics I also understand that the world would be a terrible place indeed if everyone saw the world in the same way as people like ourselves do.

Ah to have that kind of power would be invigorating. I am almost there but like Azura said I would not and can not do the truly dark acts without feeling the pain of my victoms. and as a psi drainer I am extra sensative to there emotions making even more difficult to free myself. But one day I will break the chains in my mind and be truly free to rule in my eternal hellish world forever.

i don't think that i am completely one of them but i don't know. the law stops me and if it didn't i would enjoy it for the while it was there but emotions also stop me the darkness does not scare me. it is the feelings and the neglect and why no one could understand it. other people's feelings stop me as well. i cannot hurt someone without looking in their eyes and feeling exactly what they are feeling at that moment. it is always fear or if they know me the faint belief and hope that i won't hurt them. that is only part of the problem i have with my inner darkness that iknow everyone has. very, very interesting. And if you could be truly free, would you engage in these acts without restraint? Would you savor them? Would you carry out your fantasies all at once, like a warrior on a rampage, or dance through them, like a performer with grace? Would you enjoy it, or return home afterward and lift your head to the heavens, cursing it all?

Reach past all of the stagnant dogma of what is "Accepted" and "Good" and "Moral". Understand that in order to be truly free, you cannot deny your darkness. And yes, you are right. I rather enjoy my freedom. Legal issues are the only reason some people still live. Jail is the only thing stopping me from murdering my enemies, from robbing a bank, from taking what I want. Where the "law" is not concerned, I can and will do whatever I please to/with whom/whatever I chose.

It's only hard to take the last step...the first few are quite easy...

'to be truly free of all inhibition..' a bit idealistic but just the thought gives me goosebumps