Defiance

I have to give history first so it is understandable, my share in this theme.

I was born with half a brain, some physical disabilities and a lot of extreme sensitivities to a lot of things. When my mom was pregnant with me, she knew she was pregnant with me, but she was working in a military job that had a lab in another part of the building. People who worked in the lab or near the lab had to wear special things so as to protect themselves from the radiation. My mom didn't work near that part of the building. She was in her first trimester with me. No one thought to advise everyone in the building to protect themselves. Although if you ask me, radiation if it travels in the air will travel anywhere it is permitted, meaning anywhere inside the confines of the walls of the building. So it should've been a given for the top personnel to protect everyone, not just those in or near the high levels of radiation.

The parts of the brain that control motor skills and logical thinking have never existed in my brain. The right side of my brain which controls artistic abilities and emotional thinking has been my whole brain my whole life. Basically taking over what lack I have of the left side since I don't have a left brain.

I was born with physical disabilities with balance, finger dexterity and hand/eye coordination. I have slow but very strong reflexes. I was such that the doctors thought I'd die when I was born then when I didn't die, they told my mom they thought I'd be in the wheelchair the rest of my life.

Shriner's Hospital helped me immensely. I could move and walk on my own when I was four years old. Even though I don't have the brain that controls motor skills.

I was taught all 66 books of the Christian bible when I was a toddler and to this day, I can say it in 26 seconds. Doctors and scientists couldn't explain the enigma I was.

I went to various and very strict Christian schools of different denominations within the Christian religion. I had a very hard time emotionally because of how sensitive I am. I cried easily. I became afraid easily. I taught myself how to draw when I was nine years old. I was a huge fan of coloring before then. I also started writing and thinking with inspiration and depth. My nonuniform fashions also were creative and got complimented from students and teachers.

My family never told my whole truth, just about my physical disabilities. I never told. If people wanted to be nice to me, then they'd be nice to me. If they wanted to be mean to me, then they'd be mean to me.

My life was very hard growing up. I couldn't ignore people being mean to me and I took everything personally. In spite of not having motor skill brain and logical thinking brain, I could do a lot of physical things on my own and I could talk and understand. I could do my studies. I never attended special ed schools or classes.

I gained special gifts natural and supernatural as a result of how I was born. I learned how to do some things differently just so I can do them. I got pressure on my heart from physical exertion and emotional pain turned to physical pain.

Fast forward to the present. I am 35 years old. I did good in classes, had AP English, extracurriculars, helped out and even got put in charge at things at church. I had succeeded in many things in studies in spite of not having logical thinking. Most people I grew up with did not ever see me need help with anything, so it boggled their brains when they found out my whole truth when I was 31 and told.

I have a hard time every day because of how sensitive I am emotionally. A lot are born like me I found out, but because they have a whole brain, they have that advantage. I was told the reason I always have so much pressure on my heart even in spite of the physical pain from the emotional pain is because my half-brain has had to overwork itself my whole life to function as my whole brain.

One of the gifts I and others born like me have is we can sense other people's inside feelings. So if you think you are helping by keeping your anger inside and not letting it out, even if you are not mad at us, it will still affect us because we can sense it.

I have braved many stressful situations, stress ailments, school, church, the very life I have, other people, things I ingest, touch, etc. (My senses are also strong and different.) and the emotions that come with it and without logical thinking.

I have been able to keep out of my head the men who sexually and physically abused me. And I know it is hard for males and females who got abused by familiar or stranger to keep the attackers outside their mental abode.

I live by myself and I can do a lot for myself. My own mother even admitted to me before that if she is visiting with me, she has to sometimes remind herself I'm disabled.

Motor skill brain has never existed for me, so it is understandable that I continue to amaze the medical fields and scientific fields since I'm mostly independant. I have gone unconscious more than once from the sensitivity to things and once I almost ended up in a coma.

I can still smile and laugh in the face of everything. I still have times when tears waterfall and I want to know others care about me not just them. I met certain celebrities before. They say they are lonely and want friends. They say they care about disabled people. But they shun me. Had me thinking their care-about-disabled was just a ploy to look loving to fans.

All I can do, I do with the artistic abilities and emotional thinking parts of my brain. If you hung out with me, you'd see how true it is off the computer. Everything in my life has an art vibe and an emotional vibe to it. My brain that I have is indeed stronger than my body. I don't look, sound, act or think disabled.

More than once, I have told jerks "I'd rather have my half-brain than your no-heart." More than once, I have told people who act like I can't do much because I am petite at a height of 4'10 and 1/2 and weigh 86 pounds "Dynamite also comes in small packages."

I cannot help how I was born, but others have a choice if they want to be in my life: Walk with me or walk away from me. I came with half a brain, physical disabilities that are not noticeable til I am in a situation where I need help, extreme sensitivities and extraordinary gifts and talents. So if you want to be my friend or more, you have to take all of me, because it is a package deal.

I continue to defy the odds of the scientific worlds and am happy at the anticonformity of it all.
blossomingbeauti blossomingbeauti
36-40, F
Dec 14, 2012