Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device


I'm 21 years old and I've had a terrible life and maybe like most people have wished for my life to end. I haven't actually attempted suicide or hurt myself, I've already been physically hurt too many times to want to do that anyway. But I never wanted a terminal illness, I don't even know how I got this, but maybe from a person who lived in the homeless shelter that I lived in. You can get a vaccine from this it's totally preventable, and I did when I was little, but that person didn't. I didn't even know it was contagious, but apparently it is. It's rare for someone who's been vaccinated to get this, but it is possible as I would know for I have it. Many people don't even know what Diphtheria is I was in that group. It's like a bacterial infection that starts attacking your lungs and damages them. Yes you can take antibotics but this immediatley gets immune to any type of medicine you take and the bacteria turns harder to kill. Because of the lung damage I now have which is unrepairable and the fact that all the medicine that I've taken so far has done nothing if this continues my life will end in 6 months. That's how long it takes for this to completely destroy the lungs. It's hard to breathe and I constantly cough all the time and it hurts.

I don't want my life to end in 6 months but I have accepted the fact that it may happen I mean I am not afarid to die, but I just can't wrap my head around this yet.
InmemoryofLifelessStar InmemoryofLifelessStar 18-21, F 35 Responses Jul 18, 2011

Your Response


honey keep you head up dont give up look towards the future i want you to know your one in a millon if you need to talk im right here

You are so brave, you will always have somebody that cares for you when you are gone. Just stay strong, and I wish you all the best with your en devours.

I really don't know much about your disease ! I am going to pry for you , so you will have courage and hope to fight it ! Good Luck .


Never ever give up hope. Have you researched online? I would suggest you email to doctors with experience in research. Try the Mayo Clinic people. I've found them very helpful.<br />
<br />
Another suggestion I have is to look into other, alternative treatment methods. Meditation has proven to cure many supposedly 'incurable' conditions. So I encourage you to try and get in contact. I will also research and let you know if I come up with anything. <br />
<br />
Have you looked into Ayurveda or Acupuncture and such alternative medicine?<br />
<br />
I am around your age, and I feel for you. All my life I've had a disfigurement which stopped me living a 'normal' life. But I kept on, and am keeping on, fighting. I really admire your courage.<br />
<br />
Please do not give up. I strongly believe that just because our childhoods were unhappy doesn't mean we have to give up hope. Keep on hoping and always tell your mind that you will be better. I strongly believe in the power of the subconscious.<br />
<br />
A hug to you...

Don't give up hope. Don't stop fighting. Don't stop to think how your life could be better. Because your life is the best thing that could have happened to you. You've met the people who love you most and the people whp you love also. Stay strong. <br />
<br />
C xx.

You are so young to die. However, try to think of someway that you can leave your mark in this world. Yes, the situation really is horrible, but there is a way to turn it into a positive. Try to educate somehow the issue w/ this disease and how it can effect you. Not to offend, but diphtheria was a disease that only effected persons back in the 1800s. So, yes, more light needs to be shed about how it can effect anyone. Try to share your story with the world. And even with the pain, just know that someone does care about you in your time of need.

omg you are amazing dont give up my nan had cancer yeah they said she had 4 months to live and she lived another 10 so dont give up stay strong for your family and the people you lol =]

I am so sorry to hear about your terminal illness. Did the doctors actually tell you that you will die in six months!<br />
<br />
I don't know if you want to hear this, but have hope, doctors' prognosis have been wrong before and they can be wrong this time. Their word isn't the last word - God's is. And if God is not done with His will on earth for you, then He wouldn't take you away at such a time.<br />
<br />
I have central nervous system vasculitis - I don't know if you would call it "terminal" or not, you can certainly die from it if you don't treat it. It's the inflammation of blood vessels in the brain or in the spine. Mine is limited to my brain, and when I had my first major flare-up at 17 years old and went into a coma for 32 days, the doctors told my parents I was going to die...well I am 23 years old now so obviously they were wrong. Then they changed their prognosis to "i will be a vegetable, to will have special needs, then to I will have a lower IQ."<br />
<br />
All of that was wrong. The point of this is - don't give up. Have hope. <br />
<br />
Have you went and gotten a second opinion about your condition? If you've only been seeing one specific team of doctors - who have been telling you that you will die - you DEFINITELY should get a second opinion.<br />
<br />
I'll be praying for you.<br />
<br />
If you would like, we have a group on Facebook called "HOPE - Helping Other Patients Everywhere" - - There, we are a group of people living with an illness - including some loved ones, some chronic, some acute, etc. And the purpose of the group is to give hope to each other - through whatever we are facing in our life's journey.<br />
<br />
I also have a blog to go with it -<br />
<br />
Keep your hope.<br />
<br />
I'd love to get to know you better - message me whenever you like!

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. :( But stay positive don't think about it, and do all the things that would make you happy! Stay strong, and think of every day as a new opportunity to do something Fun!!! Know that all of your friends love you! <br />
<br />
Stay Strong!

Im so sorry.. im learning about it in my health class and it sad

Have you received an antitoxin? Treatment<br />
Children and adults with diphtheria are treated in a hospital. After a doctor confirms the diagnosis through a throat culture, the infected person receives a special anti-toxin, given through injections or an IV, to neutralize the diphtheria toxin already circulating in the body, plus antibiotics to kill the remaining diphtheria bacteria.<br />
<br />
If the infection is advanced, people with diphtheria may need a ventilator to help them breathe. In cases in which the toxins may have spread to the heart, kidneys, or central nervous system, patients may need intravenous fluids, oxygen, or heart medications.<br />
<br />
A person with diphtheria must be isolated. Family members and other close contacts who haven't been immunized, or who are very young or elderly, must be protected from contact with the patient.<br />
<br />
When someone is diagnosed with diphtheria, the doctor will notify the local health department and treat everyone in the household who may have been exposed to the bacteria. Treatment includes assessment of immune status, throat cultures, and booster doses of the diphtheria vaccine. They will also receive antibiotics as a precaution.<br />
<br />
I hope all this is being done for you, so that you can continue to live!??

I'm really sorry !<br />
You're an inspiration to many persons.

I'll pray for you to get well soon.

Damn, it must be hard knowing your 1 of 5 people in the USA diagnosed with Diphtheria since 1980. <br />
<br />
Being 21 the inoculations given to you as a child should have prevented you from being able to contract a full blown case as the booster shots for inoculation isn't needed until around 40 - 45.<br />
<br />
Do what the doctors tell you and keep yourself busy. I know from personal experience what it is like to think about dying and what it means to those closest to you. I also know just how lonely it can be even when your in a room full of caring family members let alone with a bunch of medical people who see to see you as nothing more than a body in a bed which they have to stick prod and wake up to give a sleeping pill to. (never could figure that one out).<br />
<br />
Main thing is, don't give up, there are always options.

hi dear.............its gods wish he wants some to live long and also some to live short......but till we live nomatter how long.....we should gain his grace for his mercy on us......u can share ur inner self to me am there for u....take care dear

I'm sitting here wishing that something inspirational or encouraging could come to mind, but all I feel is intense anger in a god that will allow this to happen to you when there are murders and rapists and pedophiles out there that are walking around completely healthy:( Hang in there girl, noting my own past I will wish for a miracle on your behalf. If not, then we'll have a drink and a chat when I cross over as well.

I will pray for you :)

try to spend as much time as possible focusing on things that create joy, as hard as it may seem. if you have the will to live i promise you can overcome anything, even cancer. if the desire to live is strong enough you can survive. your mental state and emotions that follow can still influence the outcome.

Hi Dear,<br />
I really want to give a Hug.<br />
<br />
Everyone Dies someday, <br />
Stay Positive, Cool. Live to the Fullest.

Im sorry about your pain and even understanding what you haVe to go throw but you even sharing your story on here is a great way to help some one who might be going throw something like you so your helping if you think about it so please don't give up stay strong

Please stay strong<br />
I like you sick<br />
Maybe I lost hope in healing<br />
But I did not accept defeat<br />
I refused to cry<br />
Because I'm still here in the life<br />
I hope that my words in a sort of sympathy for your heart, my friend

God bless - don't know if you find that comforting or insulting, but I mean it. I'm not dying, but this book made me feel a lot better about life in general - maybe it will do the same for you: Hope so.

Sorry to hear about your situation But, i have allways said if i know i gonna die soon than i will do something i allways wanted to do. Try and find people who understand your illness and speak to them about a wish you got and keep that in your mind.Something you can laugh about when you alone .A memorie you can keep inside you,your memory.

I'm praying for you... that you will get the miracle you deserve... you sound so honest and I truely feel for you... my problems are nothing compared to yours and you have more grace than I do...

Sorry to hear your ill keep going you gone this far and hope better medicines come on the market to help live longer

I just joined this site about twenty minutes ago. I'm sorry that life has been this hard. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message.

Thank you all so much for your sympathy and care!!

God Bless you and have a happy Thanksgiving! You have so much to be proud of. I will keep your healing in my prayers! Stay positive!

you are an inspiration, and our entire team is behind you with thoughts and love!

You are strong. If life gets hard on me, you know what I'm always thinking how you had been through it. Dear, as I count the months since you wrote this story, I wish happiness fills your heart before it's too late. Your friends love you :)

If the bacteria can be killed though...there is the possibility of a lung transplant.<br />
So it's not an entirely done deal.<br />
Best to accept it as likely, but keep pushing for last chances.

I appreciate you for sharing. I was thinking about vaccines. I am so sad that yours did not work. That is one of the troubles with diseases and vaccines. Sometimes diseased mutate and find ways to beat the vaccines we take.<br />
<br />
It seems that losing you will be a great loss for others who could have known you. There is something important you can do for yourself in the mean time. Train yourself to focus on the things that are good, the capacities you have left. Each day accomplish something that you want to accomplish. Research shows that when you hold on to positive,l happy and upbeat thoughts you increase the efficiency of your body's systems. Give yourself a chance at the pleasures you can enjoy while you can enjoy them.<br />
<br />
Look into hypnosis. Perhaps there is a hypnotist in your areal. Most hypnotists would work with you "pro bono" if you cannot afford the fees. Sometimes hospice organizations have hypnotists affiliated with them. You can learn self-hypnosis. That will help you to focus on what is most important. In a way you are, as a blind person, more able to do this well than sighted folks. <br />
<br />
One last thing that you will hear about on here if you look for it. It is called EFT or the Emotional Freedom Technique. It is a way of working through the hurtful emotions you experience and processing the things that have happended in your life in a way that releases their power from your life. You can look around this site first, and then go to They give so much away for free on that site. I am sure your computer has text reading capabilities. There is lots of information out there about how to use EFT, and even though it sounds simplistic it is amazingly helpful. <br />
<br />
I don't know what to say about what the man who impregnated your mother with you did to you (I have such respect for the word father that I cannot call such a person by that title). The evil in his heart was beyond reason. Perhaps this is a thoughtless comment, but it really is not meant to be. I have rarely seen anywone who is capable of that level of cruelty who was not him/herself the victim of incredible crurely. Some follow in abusers footsteps as apparently he did. Others, like you, are determined that "it stops with me" and set about to make the lives of others better.<br />
<br />
Thank you for who you are and please keep focused on what you can do, on all abilities that remain to you. You might look up a guy named w. mitchell. His stories might encourage you. Look for encouragement wherever you can find it.

You are a strong person! I like your courage. I wish I had it too. So, nice to be your friend!

Try not to think about it, and just live life. Many wishes. :)