Pre-life. My Story And What It Means.

“My momma always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.’” Who the hell was Tom Hanks to say that? Life is nothing like a box of chocolates. Chocolates are always sweet. I mean, sure, some of them taste a little funny, but no matter what it’s still chocolate. And nowadays, there are boxes of chocolates that tell you which ones are where. It’s as simple as looking on the back of the box, or picking one up and reading what’s written on the plastic underneath. Some people say “life is like a rollercoaster,” that “it has its ups and downs.” But what the hell do the loops and twists and tunnels symbolize? I say life is like a metaphor: “Overrated and misinterpreted.” Yeah, makes sense right? What’s life even for?
My life didn’t start when I was born. In fact, I’m not even sure I’ve started life yet. I don’t think I’ll actually start life until I’m living on my own. Right now I’m in a state of “pre-life,” learning all the basics to prepare me for “real life.” But even then, I think I’m being taught all wrong. I’m being taught to go to college, being encouraged to go to Brown or Cornell. I’m not smart [enough] for that. And honestly, I’m beginning to feel that college isn’t for me. I know getting an education is an essential part of life, but I just don’t feel like it’s something that should be a part of mine. Just some Saturday ago I cancelled my SAT scores. I was having a bad day and didn’t feel like finishing the last three sections. I got some sort of adrenaline and felt like it was the right thing to do. Call me crazy, but that was definitely following my heart. I think my contribution to the world doesn’t involve college. I think my purpose will be bigger than that, even if it goes anonymous and unnoticed. Exactly a year ago I gave up on the world, but the world didn’t give up on me. I’m alive for a reason. I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but I know I will do…something?. There’s a lot I want to do, I guess I just need to start working for it. But where do I start? God knows I’m impatient. It’s time to shape up. I have to start sometime. Might as well start in pre-life. Get my basics over and done with.
decembersnow decembersnow
18-21, F
Jan 19, 2013