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I Don't Know What To Do

My 17 year old son has been diagnosed with depression, he says he needs help but whenever I try he shuts down and won't say anything. He recently went to the emergency room after telling someone he was going to kill himself, I was scared, hurt and confused.
He is on medication and has only missed it twice and both those times he had issues.
My worry is he'll be 18 soon and there will be no more chances and his only step will be jail.
he says he wants to work but cannot find a job, he has so much time on his hands all he does is think and yes sometimes I am afraid of him, but on the other hand I would do anything for him because he is my son and I love him dearly
happymomof2 happymomof2 36-40 6 Responses Mar 6, 2011

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Have your son read my story "Born in Heaven, Raised in Hell" and email me. I will council with him and do all I can. No strings attached and it's free. I just wanrt to help every child I can become somebody rather than a number on a prison uniform!

Your son is asking, begging and crying for help. Even at 17 he is a child and his brain is still developing. He needs a parent to get him help. He is not going to make any good decisions at all on his own. Depression is very common and affects as many as 1 in 8 people in their teen years.<br />
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Some people don't really understand about depression. Sometimes even people who are depressed don't take their condition seriously enough. Some feel that they are weak in some way because they are depressed. This is wrong — and it can even be harmful if it causes people to hide their depression and avoid getting help.here is no single cause for depression. Many factors play a role including genetics, environment, life events, medical conditions, and the way people react to things that happen in their lives. He is not going to be able to get a job, yet, even hold a job. And that adds to his already existing depression. <br />
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Depression involves the brain's delicate chemistry — specifically, it involves chemicals called neurotransmitters. These chemicals help send messages between nerve cells in the brain. <br />
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Certain neurotransmitters regulate mood, and if they run low, people can become depressed, anxious, and stressed. Stress also can affect the balance of neurotransmitters and lead to depression. For some people, depression can be intense and occur in bouts that last for weeks at a time. For others, depression can be less severe but can linger at a low level for years. <br />
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Therefore, you need to get him help right now. When somebody has depression, it can cloud everything. The world looks bleak and the person's thoughts reflect that hopelessness and helplessness. People with depression tend to have negative and self-critical thoughts. <br />
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Sometimes, despite their true value, they can feel worthless and unlovable. Because of feelings of sadness and low energy, people with depression may pull away from those around them or from activities they once enjoyed. This usually makes them feel more lonely and isolated, making the depression and negative thinking worse. Depression can create such feelings of despair that a person thinks about suicide. You are already seeing this and that is a danger sign. Depression is one of the most common emotional problems in the United States and around the world. The good news is that it's also one of the most treatable. People who are depressed shouldn't wait and hope it will go away on its own because depression can be effectively treated. You need to step in and get your son help. People who are extremely depressed and who may be thinking about hurting themselves or about suicide need help as soon as possible. When depression is this severe, it is a very real medical emergency. Depression can be so strong that it outweighs someone's ability to respond to reason. Depression doesn't mean a person is "crazy." Depression (and the suffering that goes with it) is a real and recognized medical problem. Just as things can go wrong in all other organs of the body, things can go wrong in the most important organ of all: the brain.<br />
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Dr. Dore E. Frances, PhD

I understand that what I am going to say won't be liked but if you test it, it might be true. I as a fifteen year old girl had the same problem, took multiple drugs for it to the point that i couldn't even apply for a drivers license. In our generation there is something called an attention *****. If you'll excuse the language, that is what i was and that is what your son could be also. I was also diagnosed as clinically and chronically depressed because i acted it. I put myself in the mood, i too would admit to a problem but refuse to talk. the doctor diagnosis is ba<x>sed on what they observe and i did a pretty good job of portraying someone that was truly depressed. once i obtained that status i would use it as an excuse to do what i wanted when i wanted and get away with murder... i even slit my wrists thinking it would add drama...

I have a teen daughter, who is almost 18, and has battled depression since she was 15. My advise to you from one troubled Mom to another is to seek out a teen depression support group and a good counsellor for him. It may take a couple of different visits to find his right fit for a counsellor, but all you can do is put the tools for recovery in front of him at this age and if he chooses not to accept than he is choosing his path. My heart goes out to you as I know what a horrible situation this is.

your going to worry every day, always, thats what mums do. I see little difference in your 17year old son and my 14 year old daughter, well to a point.<br />
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My advice, be there for him, love him but dont sufficate him, he only go further from you. But you must make sure of all that your ok, because if your not, he wont be. I almost went mad, sick with worry, watching my daughter hurt herself and not seeing how much she makes a difference just being in this world. Although hers is for a very valid reason, us mums feel the same.<br />
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Take good care of you to insure your strong for him, if or when he needs you the most x

Being 17 (almost 18), you have already taught him the basics of life; right from wrong, etc. He will choose his own path regardless of your pleas. You can only hope that the decisions he makes will be the right ones. When he does make mistakes (and he will) they will teach him what life is all about. As for depression, it is a difficult condition to battle when going out on his own. If money for his medication is an issue, ask his doctor for low cost alternatives and offer to help pay for them if he is willing to accept it. Be supportive of him, and let him step out of the nest. Welcome him when he returns and wish him well when he goes. When he stumbles, put out your hand, but it's up to him to take it.