Former Marine Vs Abusive Father

Growing up, my Dad was my best friend. He always stood up for me, he always helped me out and with the exception of when I actually did something wrong he never yelled at me about anything. When I turned 18 I went into the Marine Corps, but only served 9 months due to psychological and knee problems. I was honorably discharged and technically a veteran. But when I got home, my Dad became totally the opposite kind of person. For the last four years he's been a verbally abusive pain in the rear end to me and only me. I don't know why but apparently I am the bane of all the problems in the house. On a near-daily basis he calls me all sorts of names, yells at me for just about anything, constantly threatens to kick me out and says other cruel and demeaning things. Like this one time he told me these exact words: "If it weren't for me you'd be homeless living in an alleyway screwing a dude." I'm not gay but homosexual comments like that are always being thrown at me, and its degrading. I like going for walks to try to get out of the house because I don't drive yet, and apparently to him that proves that I'm a pervert who likes going to the park to look at little kids. I sometimes go to the mall to hang out with friends. That means I spend money on myself that I could be paying him. He sees a Bible on my desk and he laughs. I want to go work out and he laughs. Every time I bust my butt around the house to help my Mom out when he' not there and he comes home and sees Mom doing something he comes and gets at me for it. Whenever my brother doesn't do one of his chores Constantly, almost everyday several times a day I have to put up with this. Unfortunately I don't have enough money to move out otherwise I'd be long gone, though that time is coming as soon as I can find a job. My Mom doesn't do anything to stop him, and always uses the excuse, "Oh, he's just upset at you for this or this..." I don't care what he's upset at me for. You do not treat other human beings, let alone your own kid, like they are worthless. And my parents are friends with a lot of people. They are great at telling all of our personal issues with everybody they know, friends or relatives. He's making me out to be the bad guy, when he is by far the more villainous of the two. I don't know how I've dealt with this the past few years, but its getting to a point here I don't think I can handle it anymore. He seems to always use my own words against me and try to convince me that nobody can stand being around me. Its getting to the point where I loose my appetite or have to try and do things in secret just to try and not give him reasons to get on to me. My life is more stressful than the hardest bootcamp in the country ever was. At least at MCRD they cared...what do I do guys?
jsiebelink jsiebelink
22-25, M
2 Responses May 21, 2012

I know exactly what you're going through. I was once a swimmer, apparently set towards the olympics... yeah right. I quit due to my fathers pressures and verbal abuse. now all i get is more comments about how worthless I am and how I've thrown everything away. that I have nothing special going for me anymore. At first I thought standing up for myself would help, and it did but after a while I realised that I was playing into the palm of his hands... he wanted a reaction from me. he loves a good argument. So now I ignore it, I feel like I'm winning because if I just walk away after a nasty comment then he says less hurtful things. ever since I stopped its decreased. <br />
I don't know how it is with you, if its anything like what you're going through. but for me? I would work my *** off to get a job that pays well enough for me to get out of there, show him that you can support yourself and that you don't need him to put you down anymore! Show him that you are happy with how you are. you don't need to change for anyone! he's the one who needs to change for you! So don't let him get you down, he's not worth it!

I live your life. Except my husband is in bootcamp and I'm stuck at my parents until we are posted. I have 2 kids, a university deploma, and my own business, my dad still calls me worthless and says the rudest things to me. He is always telling their friends and my family (aunts and cousins) crap about me that isnt true. Making me out to be a lazy bum that does nothing. Apparnly I sit at home and do nothing. I live in hell. I'm not sure how to fix it. But I think that no matter what either of us do it won't get better. Best thing to do is get out of their house and distance yourself from him.