My Dad Is Still Like That.

To put it simply, my Dad is narcissistic.  It's a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.  I grew up with many emotional needs not being met.  I would try to find those needs met, but was attracted to the same insecure men.

Now I'm fifty and although recognizing that is what he has, I still struggle with him.  It explains a lot, and it was healing to know why he is like this.  I had to live with him recently for one and a half yrs, and nothing has changed other than no physical abuse, but the emotional abuse feels even worse.  He's just cruel.

WarriorMom WarriorMom
51-55, F
7 Responses Apr 2, 2009

life story.

words really can and do kill a person inside. i hav a verbally abusive father so i really feel ur pain. im still strugling to get the words outta my head and heart. it's like there engraved into me. I still hate him and cant find a way to just forgive him and let go so i can move on in life. Good lukc to you

My father is so verbally abusive that I don't know what to do.<br />
I'm only 17, so I still live in the house. He comes from a ****** up background which explains his behavior. But it doesn't excuse it.<br />
He snaps at stupid little things like my mom scrolling through channels and then missing a show he liked.<br />
<br />
He ****** me off and hurts me so much without a care....<br />
Everyone is wrong but him.

Thank you all, it's just been another jab again and no place is better than here.

im so sorry . this must be so hard for you. i have struggles with my mom. if you need me i am here.

I, too, had an emotionally abusive father, and, unfortunately, my brother still lives with him.<br />
<br />
My father was never physically abusive and, in fact, never even spanked me as a child, but words cut deeper than any knife, if used the "right' way.<br />
<br />
No matter how much we wish it was otherwise, sometimes our loved ones are simply not good people. And, unfortunately, many of us give them chance after chance after chance to change, when they never will.<br />
<br />
Since your father is probably in his 70s or 80s, I'd say he's been given enough chances at this point. <br />
<br />
I know that you can never forget how he treated you, but you CAN change how it effects you. You can move on and have the beautiful life that you deserve. :)

I'm sorry. I know what the emotionally abusive parent feels like. It hurts. <br />
There is no changing your father. Quit concentrating on his abuse. Start concentrating on the love you get from your other family members (the EP members!) (((HUGS)))