I'm Sure She Hates Me!

I never look forward to my mother coming to visit, which she doesn't do very often. Whenever she does come down she tries to enforce the fact that I should be in hospital, because I'm so sick, and she'll look after my daughter. She takes over my home and throws away my stuff that she thinks I shouldn't have. I hide my CD's and important stuff upstairs in my bedroom. She makes me feel like I'm irresponsible and useless. I have a 'No Alcohol' rule in my home but she totally ignored this and drank cans of lager every night she was here, she one day said she was going to buy a bottle of Whisky but I made it quite clear I would pour it down the sink, from then on she just got nastier and nastier towards me.
My daughter was going away for the weekend with school the day my mother was due to return to her home. But she decided to stay on and 'keep me company', when everybody knows she only comes to visit her granddaughter, not me. She demanded I took her to the beach and it was freezing. She sat by me on the rocks and told me the only reason she had stayed on was because my daughter was scared that if I was alone for the weekend I would go to sleep and never wake up. I was shocked. I'd joked with my daughter saying I was going to sleep in everyday but not threatened suicide. I couldn't understand why my mother would say this, I remember saying it to mum when I was really ill many years ago, but she knows I've got a lot better and stable on my meds. It has really upset me, I can't get it out of my head. I'm wondering if she has said something to my daughter. Four years ago when my daughter was only six years old my mother told her that I self harmed, my daughter brushed it off as I don't think she knew what it meant, my daughter has never mentioned this since, even though it was mentioned that the boy she liked at school, a couple of years older than herself, was self harming.

I really think my mother thinks so low of me she will do anything to take my daughter off me like she has been trying to take my sisters son off her, but now my nephew is nearly fourteen and can stick up for himself, my mothers intensity has moved to my daughter, but my daughter is always one step up on her. She said her grandma had only come down to visit this time because her cousin is away on holiday, and all the other times she had come to visit her coincides with her cousins holidays. Also when me and mum were sat on the beach she started going on and on about who would get custody of my daughter when I die. When I said, naturally she'd stay with her father she got extremely angry saying that she would fight him in court for custody of my child.
Ok, I may suffer from mental illness but it doesn't mean I'm not capable of caring for my daughter. Me and my daughter work together, we are a team, she is a very special person, we look after each other, she goes without nothing.
And when things get really bad I have a great professional support system that gets me through because I found out many, many years ago I couldn't get the support I needed from my family.

amigoodenough amigoodenough
36-40, F
2 Responses Jun 25, 2008

Thank you. I sometimes get so confused thinking she is right and I am wrong. I guess thats why she always seems to get the upper hand.

I am so sorry. I used to work for Child Protective Services here in the states. I don't know how everything works elsewhere, but I totally agree that you can raise you daughter just fine even if you have a mental illness. You are medicated and doing your best to keep it under control. Your daughte doesn't seem any worse off. And if you look at what is in the best interest of the child then taking her away from you is not in her best interest. I am sorry that your mother acts so ugly towards you. What ever you do don't let her break you, especially when it comes to your daughter. She has no right to take her from you. Keep up the fight girl! Just know that not everyone sees you the same way you mother sees you. I think you are a great person and you are busting you *** for your daughter.