My Story About Guidance and Belief.

I've tried to find my religion in the past.
Just to hang on to something, and to be able to trust and follow an example.
Because I didn't know what it was that I had to do in order to change my life, or what to do to cope with the life I had already.

So basically I am different in the way I'm thinking currently than I was half a year ago. Yeah it's still kind of fresh.
I had to find my way through internet and some counceling searching for what was the problem. What I needed to do in order to feel better.
And to be honest I just looked for everything and only found a few things that mattered to me out of the whole crap load of stuff you can find on the internet. I can't tell you what is wrong with you if you feel like you need guidance.

Things that have become usefull to me is this website, and writing about myself in general too. It has helped me actually realise when I was angry or happy. For those who like symbolic stuff I have thought of it as feeling like a grey mass and I've turned it into contrasting colors again. And colors are beautifull, by the way :)

Also, accepting my own emotions has been a great help.
When I felt bad in the past, I judged myself on that on top of it. Because I had a feeling like I failed, and that "feeling bad" was a punishment for failing.
I'd feel bad if I was bored. Because I would blame myself and actually convince myself that I wasn't social, and that if I had been more social I wouldn't have felt bored at all.


And I've discovered a new way to motivate myself for doing the things I want.
And it's that I can accomplish anything I want, and the onlty thing I need to do is belief that it will come true. And I've reasoned this out! Because when I read this advice on the internet a month ago, I started to wonder.

First of all, I didn't have any reason at all to suddenly start believing in this very stupid sounding claim. But I wondered: "what if it was true? I think I might not even know what I would really want??".
So I thought of this and concluded that it was bad anyways to not know what you want in your life.

Now I have seen some results of it. Honest results. I got my ex girlfriend back today, closer than I'd normally dare to hope for, hehe. But I gave it a shot this time.

Now when I choose and focuss on something. I tell my brain to let everything in regarding the subject.
In other words, because you allow yourself to dream about your dreams. You tell your brain to let in all the information that could possibly have effect on realising your dream.
And this assurance that it's going to work, is nothing but a guarantee that at some point, because you're so sharply focussed on your dream. You will see every chance and thing you need to do in order to get to your dream. And you'll do it all, because you really want it badly by now!

The only thing you need to believe is that there is a chance for everything, always. And I got my girlfriend back while I had previously regarded this as being hopeless...
Too hopeless to even try and put effort into her again.

Your dreams define your accuracy. And your effort is your ammunition.
Now just shoot some effort and focuss on what you really dream about and you'll get there. I've had a long twisty road to get my gf back again. I started with wanting her to like me again and love me again. Then I noticed I had to start understanding her in order to accomplish that. And so I began to try...and now I feel like I understand her better than before.

And gosh I'm just so happy things have changed back again! :)

This has been my story so far about how I got to where I am today.

Cuirous Cuirous
18-21, M
1 Response Sep 10, 2007

Wow, your story has somewhat inspired me! It's really great to hear how things turned out for you and thanks for sharing this. I'll keep your advice in mind for my own goals (and my own love interest). =D