Benzodiazepines, Malignant Melanoma, Candida And Finally Vitamin D Deficiency

10 years I have been at home classed as "disabled" from the age of 30 to 40 I haven't been abroad on holiday and have lived my life practically as a hermit. My family think I am a social recluse, and maybe I am but with good reason.  

I am what is called a Type A Personality 

Driven, self motivated and easily stressed. 

My last job as a sales person found me best in the company.. too good apparently as the bosses decided no one should be making the kind of money I was. I loved my job and it was a classic case of "lived to work" and not "worked to live"   

So when the bosses started playing "push her out" tactics by trying to undermined my confidence, placing me in separate offices alone and away from  others and fixing incentive contests that I was winning to ensure I didn't win the stress was incredible.  

I developed an irrational fear of a lot of things.. the biggest being a fear or phobia of not being able to sleep when I was due to work the next day. Now, unless you have had a phobia ( which literally means irrational fear ) you cannot begin to understand how terrifying things can be what ever it is your afraid of and no matter how illogical you know it is.. you cant shake it.  

I would be lying in bed with my heart racing and sweating with rigid fear of not sleeping.. which of course ensured I didn't sleep which just made the whole phobia more real. I would beg my boyfriend at the time to sit up with me and would be craddeling my knees tucked up on a chair rocking..  

I went to a hypnotist and spent a small fortune on an intense course to overcome this fear. It didn't work.  

So in desperation I went to my doctors who put me on Valium ( diazepam ) and Zopiclone ( a sleeping tablet) and i took them both at night time as a psychological crutch for 9 months solid.  

One day I decided i didn't need them anymore. I had a firm grip on the phobia and felt I had overcome it. So I stopped taking them both "cold turkey"  

That decision has shaped the last 10 yrs of my life and in a terrible negative way. 

4 days into not taking them I started having what I now know to be temporal lobe seizures. I would be wide awake but feel like I was dreaming and have this very strong sense of deja vu as though everything that was happening in that moment (including the attack) I had dreamt about recently.. these episodes could last upto 1 hour and I thought I was going insane. 

The first time it happened I went to bed after an hour of crying and shaking and found just closing my eyes sent me straight into dream state like I was asleep but not 

I didn't know what was causing it but my BF asked me about the pills I had been taking and I told him I had stopped taking them.. this is when we made the connection. The days that followed I started to feel physically and mentally deathly. Restless leg syndrome, skin crawling, out of breath (oxygen starvation it is called ) for not reason, sweating, cold hands, shaking, weak, I could barely walk to the car in the mornings... but I did.. and i stayed at my job for 10 months as I was going through cold turkey from Zopiclone. I contacted CITA ( councilors for involuntary tranquilizer addiction) and they explained what was happening and why and I discovered 100s of people whose lives and health had been ruined by these drugs. 

I was advised to go back onto Valium to compensate for the Zopiclone withdrawal and told what I had done was very dangerous.  

These days of course, Docs in the UK wont prescribe benzos for more than 4 weeks but my doctor just put me on a repeat prescription and I didn't know any better.  

I went back on Valium and increased the dose every 14 days hoping I would reach a level that would stop the awful withdrawal symptoms.. they eased them but the two drugs are totally different and in hindsight I would of just continued with the withdrawal of both but I ended up on 30mgs a day of valium which I took at night time before bed.  

12 months later and on 30  mgs of valium and I had to give my job up. I couldn't work. I was both physically and mentally messed up and still having these episodes of temporal lobe seizures. 

6 months into being on 30mg of valium I started to do a taper ( reduction ) and each 1 mg I reduced by took me 6 weeks to get over. It took 2 weeks for the withdrawals to kick in and another 2 weeks of W/D symptoms then I would have a 2 week break.  

At first I was very determined to get off this crap. I was 30 and my life was a mere existence with symptoms coming and going for no apparent reason and not always related to a recent reduction from Valium.   

I now know this was because my body was going through the cold turkey off Zolpidem and no amount of valium would stop the tidle waves of symptoms from that drug that I stopped cold turkey style from 10mg a night.  

After 18 months my health although still poor, was more stable and I continued to taper off valium. I got down to 12.5mgs from 30mgs and then I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma stage 2. Of course, I stopped reducing the valium during this crisis. And I am glad to say that was over 5 yrs ago now and I have not had a return of skin cancer. 

But during the last 5 years something else changed. My usual symptoms were replaced with new ones. I had a sore throat, a fever, felt weak and tired and ached all over, had oral thrush a lot and these symptoms followed a common cold virus. It felt like I had a cold and I never got over it.  

I knew something was wrong. With the fact that I had oral thrush I did some research and self diagnosed myself as having systemic candida.  

I had a history of taking anti biotics for months for acne and as my body and immune system had had such an attack with the whole benzodiazepine addiction, withdrawal and eventually tolerance it made sense I would have candida. 

Candida when it is systemic ( in your body, stomach, lungs even your brain ) makes you VERY ill. 
But of course no conventional doctor would help or even accept I had it.  
I found a candida help forum and a nutritionist who dealt with Candida and for 12 months I was on the most restrictive diet you can imagine,  

No sugar AT ALL so that includes, alcohol, honey, fruit, or anything with hidden sugars like sucrose and all the generic sweetners that are made from sugar and as such "are" sugar. I couldn't eat anything that wasn't organic and so my diet was porridge with rice milk, jacket potato with prawns or cottage cheese and a little salad and veg and organic meat for dinner. Snacks were rice cakes plain.  

I was also put on huge amounts of vitamins that made me soooo ill. This went on for over 12 months and I wasn't getting better I was worse
When I tried to take any of the anti fungal treatments no matter how small, the "die off" was so bad one pill would make me bed ridden for 2 weeks.  

Die off by the way is when the anti fungal ( anti candida ) treatment is killing the bacteria that makes you ill and then the dead bacteria or candida is released into your blood stream making your symptoms a LOT worse. It is considered normal to have an initial reaction that may last upto 3 weeks and leave you feeling like you have bad flu. 

I was labelled as being "sensitive" and I just gave up in the end. I stopped all the vitamins and within 3 weeks I felt SO much better.. I never came off the diet because if I had even the smallest amount of sugar inc fruit 36 hrs later and I felt deathly ill..which would last for 2 weeks.  

So for over 3 yrs i ate the same food day in and day out. I hardly left the house as I was poorly most days. I couldn't go on holiday as I was ill and couldn't drink or eat what i wanted so felt like it was pointless. 

1 yr ago i decided to tackle this candida once and for all and was advised by a man for free who had had candida himself and cured it by taking a product called Threelack. I went very slow because past experience taught me I was going so suffer badly. 

I went slow and hit the die off stage with each increase of threelac but then the stages inbetween I felt superb with energy I hadn't had in years.. I felt young.. alive and I had hope for the first time in 8 years I thought I was going to beat this illness. 

But as soon as I hit 2 packets a day the die off wouldn't pass, I was in this constant state of die off symptoms then feeling OK again then more die off and on and on but I was on the sale dose... I couldn't increase until I got over each die off stage..after 6 weeks of being bed ridden almost every day.. I was so weak and ill.. I stopped taking Threelac.. the man who was helping me was very angry and said I just had to toughen up and increase the Threelac until it had killed all of the bad bacteria ( candida ) and only until i did that would I ever be well. 

I got the impression he thought I was being a softy.. but I read so many cases of candida die off and it wasn't normal to have die off that lasted weeks.. you were meant to reduce the treatment until the die off stabled out... so against his wishes I went back down to 1 packet a day from 2. But still the symptoms of die of was severe. It was just a rollercoaster of die off over and over. 

I explained to him I felt my body was not able to deal with the toxicity I felt like my immune system was too weak and he wouldn't accept it. But I just knew something was wrong.. physically I couldn't cope with all the dead bacteria Threelac was releasing into my blood stream. 

After 8 weeks in bed.. and 8 weeks of taking NO threelac I was still very ill, aching joints, muscle weakness, limb weakness, poor appetite, my legs, back ached like when you have severe flu.. I was burning up and shivering all of the time and too weak to have a bath and get dressed... I started to obsess thinking I had now got M.E   

i had my laptop in bed looking up my symptoms desperate for an answer as I couldn't understand why I was still feeling this bad after weeks of not taking Threelac.  

In the end I had a mini nervous breakdown and the old phobia of insomnia came back but worse.. I ended up with my parents coming to take me to the hospital were I was put on Anti depressants and beta blockers for anxiety. 

I went to my doctors when I started to feel a little stronger mentally and physically and after demanding blood tests for iron and thyroid the only thing that came back as abnormal was Vitamin D. My levels were at 11 when they need to be over 30.  

Of course it didn't surprise me as my skin never saw daylight due to my ill health and not going out much plus the Malignant Melanoma..  

What I have discovered if Vit D deficiency plays a massive part on your immune system and now I am thinking I have been vitamin D deficient for many yrs and that the cause of getting candida was probably DUE to the fact my body hit below normal levels so my immune system was poor and candida took over. 

I used to always have good thick white finger nails, but had noticed around the time candida symptoms kicked in my nails were yellow and had vertical ridges and broke easily.  

I have had constant dental infections in all of my root canals of which i have many, ear infections that perforated my ear drum 2 yrs ago and picked up viruses and colds all of the time.  

I think the Vitamin D or lack of was the cause of Candida for me and until my blood levels are good again trying to kill candida with a weak immune system is a recipe for disaster, it explained WHY I was so sensitive to anti candida treatments and why I couldn't continue with my treatment. My body was just too weak. 

In addition, the anti candida diet is only ever intended for a few months at the most. My nutritionist had me on it for over 3 years so i was probably under nourished too.  

I am still addicted to 12.5 MG of valium and I still have candida but I am eating a much more varied and normal diet now although I still avoid any form of sugar but do eat fruit and milk ( lacto free milk ) I eat alpen (sugar free) and I am not starving all of the time as my carb intake is normal now. Infact I have put weight on I went from a UK size 8 to a UK size 12. 

My doctor only prescribed 400 UI of Vit D a day. So I bought some 2100 doses but I "think" taking it makes my symptoms worse. This may be because Vit D is actually a steroid type hormone and has a direct effect on your immune system by boosting it. So of course if my immune system is boosted my body starts to fight the over load of candida and I get "die off" 

Soooo I have bought a sun lamp (filtered) just a little face lamp which i will use 2 mins a day. I know its not advisable due to the skin cancer I had but if you research vit D deficiency - having a lack of Vit D has higher chances of cancers and M.S than exposing your skin to the sun to make Vit D and I figured as I don't see day light at all... 2 minutes a day on a face sun lamp has to balance out with the total lack of natural sunlight I have had for several years. 

I hope once I get my Vit D level back my candida symptoms will get better I will be less prone to candida flare ups and I can at long last start treatment in the knowledge my bodies immune system is capable.  

Thank you for reading.


roseenglish roseenglish
41-45, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

hello, having had similar experience I can say that the thrush issue has far more to do with the physical terrain of your body that is created by chronic vitamin and mineral leaching due to stress induced mineral leaching.. This over use of adreal metabolic channels depletes stores of nutrients essential to proper response to stress. Sales can crete a state of hyper-vigilance.. Get inject-able b-vit complex and methly-B12 injections and try some organic grass fed beef liver a couple times per week. D-3 injections could help you are having a hard time activating D-2 to active form. also magnesium IM shots can help too. Also, look in to bile deficiency and b-6. Many get releaf from coffee enemas combined with a nutritional program ,(sounds weird, but follow the protocol). do some research on it and it is not motivated by some goober trying to sell you some drug or vitamin. Its very well understood in its mode of action and provides some immediate releaf from fatigue, pain and anxiety.. good bile flow is imperative to good health and relaxes the nervous system in systemic way. Good luck.. Do some research and if yo need a good practitioner referral in the LA area I can hook you up.