I Hide It All !

To everybody, i am a really happy, joyful , jolly, bubbly person, always positive, and happy for the most part, but... there wrong, the don't know the real me.
I battle things everyday..i battle something that's called depression. Even though i may seem like a happy person, always smiling.. on the inside my emotions are going out of whack , i could want to break down and cry , i could feel hurt and pain, but i won't show it. I fake smiles at people to hide my emotions and to hide all the hurt and pain i feel inside.
Really , i don't even know how the depression started, i guess it was just feelings and hurt that built up over time. but the only way i deal with it is when i put my wall up , and put a ''smile'' on my face to keep the emotion to myself that people don't know about and so people can't see the real me.
Somtimes as i hide my emotions i wish i could hid my face, and myself too. people make me feel so worthless at times, and make me feel like i'm the most unimportant person that ever walked on this earth. But, i never show that i feel that way.
People don't need to know how i really am.
cherrylover1234 cherrylover1234
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

Yes, honey they do need to know who you are, but you have to be able to build your self esteem first, so you will be able to handle them on their own terms.This is not something that you need to hold inside, it will make you either physically ill or emotionally ill , either is not good. Find a book at the library on building self esteem, and one on holding in emotions, and I am really glad you found this site, it is a good place to vent and get good feedback. God Bless You & keep you.