House Rules

I have a weird family. We have a set of rules guiding the basis of proper conduct. The first begins with the sink. The sink is not a place for boiling water; if boiling water goes down the sink -- so my parents claim -- the boiling water will melt and explode the pipes, causing copious amounts of destruction and turmoil among the house. Secondly, socks are to be worn at all times. You cannot poop without socks on, you cannot walk without socks on, you cannot get a half-awake midnight snack from the fridge without socks on. Their reason being follows that "the oils from your feet" will essentially "erode the hard wood floor" and therefore one's feet must be protected to avoid such an oily plauge. Third, a guest will never receive permission to use the fridge; a house member must always retrieve a glass of water for their dehydrated guests, regardless if a family member says to the guest "Sure, help yourself." No, this is the 8th unwritten holy sin guised by Satan himself. A house member is fooled to think they can rely on a guest to properly retrieve a glass of water by themselves. It takes a trained professional house member to do such a task. Similar, using the shower is "off limits" to a guest, as "there is a pool [with showers] across the street," and as well, a guest must dry their hands on a paper towel rather than a cloth towel, simply because "that's gross." For some reason.
banalitystories banalitystories
18-21, F
3 Responses May 9, 2012

A house guest can't shower while staying at your parent's home? I have to admit, that's a strange one. I bet they don't have much problem with people visiting too long.

I doubt they even have much visitors at all lol

Holy crappola. That sounds like some crap my mother would have created. That is seriously f****d up.

WTF?