Observations From A Bar...

...I used to go clubbing.  I liked the atmosphere, the good drinks and being around people who were all looking to have a good time.  What I don't like about clubbing is the dance.  I don't mean 'dancing.'  In fact, I dance really well and have been known to draw a crowd of sexy smiling people who appreciated my moves.  The 'dance' to which I am referring is the dance of the hot-chick-hot-guy and wing-man-not-as-attractive-bff.  THAT dance.  I love to watch it though.  It is funny as hell!  Well, not to the primary parties involved.  But, if I have to be annoyed by the 'dance' then I'm gonna make fun of the players.

I just want to dance my *** off and laugh and have a good time.  I have never gone to clubs to hook up and have never left the bar with anyone other than the folks with whom I arrived.  And, most of my girl friends HATE clubbing with ME cause they know they're getting dropped off at their home BY ME!!!  LMAO. 

But I like to nickname the players and tease them relentlessly.  I always wear good shoes to go out dancing--not only so I have good traction and footing when I do moves that make me bend in half or swing my hips low to the floor....  but also because, eventually, one of these jackasses is gonna try to kick MY little ***.  But it's so funny.  I think it would be easier if the players wore uniforms, and carried crack-berries.  Then, the wing man and not-as-attractive-bff could fenagle the whole interchange from across the room.  And the hot-guy and hot-girl can just stare smokily into each other's lusty eyes.  What would be equally awesome is if the wing man and not-as-attractive-bff hooked up, cause then they could all hit the same house,... wrap it and tag it, and everyone could head out to IHOP together.  That would be efficiency at it's finest, right!!!

The funniest thing I ever saw was this hot guy, working on the bff trying to convince her to introduce him to her hot-friend.  After much wheeling and deeling, the hot friend ended up with the giant-***-sexy bouncer and I got to walk in on the bff and the hot guy getting busy in the ladies room!!!  THAT was funny as hell!!!
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26-30
2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

Now MutualPa's comment makes me laugh. He makes no fuc*ing sense, I love it! That's how Jack Vance might comment on that story.

dear tens, let me be sure I have this scenerio thoroughly discerned....the wingman, who may or not be a draco alien, is supposed to distract the not so lovely woman, by placing her in a twenty five foot toaster, which has been rolled onto the dance floor...the alpha male is then abducted with the hot chick, but teleported off to a planet on which the persephone/Orpheus conundrum exists;--if alpha male stares at barbie doll, he's dispatched to hades for six million years (sorry, we have to allow for extreme differentials in black hole planets)<br />
now that I understand the proxemics and humanoid behaviours in night clubs, I'll just grab Johnny Depp as my wing man and go hunting