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Some People Get It. Others Don't

I think our sense of humour is a very big part of who we are.  And there are some jokes that you can only ever share with a few people.  When you meet someone with the same sense of humour you invariably hit it off.  My sense of humour is very, very dry and quite dark but most things make me laugh because I was brought up by people who acted like we had a responsibility to make eachother laugh, to help us got on with eachother.  Not all families do this - I have now experienced 2 families of partners who think that helping eachother and showing polite interest in eachothers lives is much more important than making eachother laugh. They look at me in dismay as I embellish a minor incident to make it funnier and then say, "but it didn't happen quite like that, did it?".  No of course it didn't.  It's my duty to try not to bore you so I'm jazzing it up.  But they think its my duty to relate the exact truth.  Since the incident didn't affect them, the truth is irrelevant really.  Laughter is a social glue that can bind us together with someone with whom we have nothing else in common.  It can lift us out of dispair and make us realise that we don't want to die yet because there will always be things to laugh about.  Sometimes I think of something really funny and realise that the only other person in the world who would have 'got' the joke is now dead.  That's when I feel saddest that they are gone now.  Sorry this story wasn't funnier.
CrystalCat CrystalCat 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 23, 2007

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Yeah I think laughing can be pretty cool maybe mainly because it is a great way to lighten your mood and relieve stress. Whenever something bothers me that I can't do anything about, I tend to laugh it off because it makes it easier for me to deal with certain situations I am trapped in and face up to unpleasant facts. That happens to pretty much everybody I've met, so this type of behavior is normal and universally human. My mom and dad don't get along really well (but still they try their best to bear with each other for my sake) and I often find myself talking to my father and asking him "why do you tend to make fun of everything you consider to be unpleasant? Because really, some of your jokes are only funny to you, as far as I am concerned" (when I was a kid he used to throw balls of sand at me when we were at the seaside, as well as drag me into the freezing cold water even though I couldn't swim) and he tells me "I do it all in order to laugh it off so that I can be relaxed enough not to murder you or your mother. So that's what has shaped the way I generally view humor: it acts like a barrier between aggressive, even murderous subconscious instincts and the human psyche that has to properly interact with other human beings. It does nothing but to regulate and stifle our interactions when needed.

I recently contracted a std from a friend. Unfortunatly my sarcastic and dry sense of humor, along with how he is accepting the diagnosis, is not only upsetting to him but adding to his burden. Either u r going to laugh or cry, I'm Laughin'.

I have a very inappropriate sense of humour, so I know what you mean about sometimes only being able to share some "funny" things with certain people. I was raised in a family where you had to learn very quickly to laugh at yourself, before you laughed at others. I have no problem with telling people about stupid things I've done to make them laugh.


My partner has a similar sense of humour to mine and I'm sure that most people would just think we are way weird with some of the things we find funny.


I like your comment about laughter being a social glue - fabulous description, I agree totally. Great post!

Nothing wrong with embellishing a story to make it more amusing. I do it all the time. My wife thinks it is a fault of mine but then she has no sense of humour at all. You carry on as I will because we all need a laugh in this dreary world of ours. We must help each other. Two words not one. See I am helping you today just cos I 'm a good guy. Not funny. Ha ha ha.

There's nothing worse than making a joke and having the audience look at you as if you have a dead turtle on your head.

Rainbow flavoured smoked haddock.
Marlowe

I have had about 38 jobs since I was 15. I started out my first was at the Quibcy Neighborhood Youth Corps. It was a federal program. Then I went to work for the Star Market co at thier Quincy,MA store. I have been fired from about six jobs. I resigned from about another six. The rest I was laid-off from lack of work. Then in the area of women I have been a loser. First it was the fear of rejection. When I did try I would freeze up and be like a clam. I hear the talk of a sense of humor all the time. It seems like I was at the station and missed the train. I have had very litle success in my 60 years and a lot of failure. Any help on how I can bring humor to my life?

I met a guy the other day that was half indian and half italian.... When I met him he said HOW-De-****. Are ya?

Haha it is like my family, too. No matter what happens, or if anything is dodgy in slightest to make a joke out of it, they will go for it!.. I used to think it was a bit too much, but with the time I realise it taught me quite a sensible approach to life. Sort of ;)

"Laughter is a social glue" I love that imagery, and you are so right. And it IS hard to connect with people who don't understand your humor. I'm quite sarcastic, and often surreal. Needless to say, I get a lot of blank stares at things I found hilarious!

I totally agree with what you say. From a young age I've always made people laugh. My humour has since developed into the darker and dryer side.
My girlfriend does not get it at all. I find myself sensoring myself at times . Or I will say somthing just to get the look of disapproval off her. But with one of my friends there are NO boundaries for the banter and humour.even things that are close to me that others would never say or talk about. He says stuff and I love it because its a sign of affection in a strange reverse way. There is not 1 thing can be said to insult me

It makes me happy to know there are others, who would rather laugh than cry. Humor has saved my sanity more times than I can count, I like to think of my sense of humor as finely honed, but if others feel the need to lable it as sick or weird or warped, well so be it, whatever butters your biscuit.

Somebody once told me that people with a dry, perceptive wit and sense of humor are extremely intelligent people and only extremely intelligent people truly understand their humor.

This works for me!

Wow, you hit the nail right on the head!

I love laughing so hard that it hurts my stomach

Im the same way but not many people can make me laugh that way although there are certain few special people i have met in my life that can:-)))))

This is the best comment ever...

Your family sounds like mine...we spent a lot of time laughing, and much of the time people outside of the family didn't understand what the heck we were laughing about. I developed a fine sense for absurdity from my family, and it has served me well. And you're right...I've dealt with a couple of partner's families as well. They're perfectly nice people who were and are frequently dismayed at my lack of decorum. It's O.K., though. I managed to infect my child with an outrageous sense of humor, so I feel as if I've served my purpose.

Has anyone read "my life as a weed by choice ?" on this website...I would appreciate some cmments..I am a tongue in cheek humor writer...you can also view some of my works @: kjforce.wordpress.com<br />
looking for some feedback...I am working on my next to be published book sept 2011..hope to hear from some of you..

what you mean there will always be things to laugh about. im sorry to say that sometimes humour leads to violence. So don't poke at people when there is nothing to laugh about.

I have a dry sarcastic wit myself and I rarely restrain it. My immediate family gets it as does my adult son. They're basically "zingers" meant in jest. When I run across people that get it, the laughs are plenty. But occasionally I have to realize that some people fail to see the humor in themselves and take offense. I'm basically as funny as a rubber crutch.

I laughed at the end xD cool story bro :)

never let the facts get in the way of a good story

CrystalCat, I totally agree with you. I think there's nothing lonelier than being around a bunch of people who don't "get" your sense of humour. One reason I've stayed with my husband for so long despite our many problems is that we find the same things funny - and he thinks I'm hilarious. We share a lot of "inside" jokes, too, just by virtue of having been together for so long.<br />
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I also tend to slightly "embellish" stories to make them a bit funnier. Well, it's how it SHOULD have happened, isn't it? :)<br />
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And I know what you mean about having a joke that you can't share with anyone because there's no one around who will get it. Years ago, I read a joke that I thought was absolutely hilarious - total science nerd joke - and I couldn't think of a single person who would get it, as I was in a different field and that point, and had lost track of all my university buds over the years. I actually tracked down one of my classmates for the sole purpose of having someone to tell the joke to. This was BF (Before Facebook), so the tracking down took some considerable effort. Poor guy - he didn't find it funny either, and I think he thought I was a stalker! <br />
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I can't remember the exact joke now, but it was something about assuming a horse was a sphere for purposes of the calculation. Trust me, it was funny at the time! And anyone who laughed at that, please contact me - we're soulmates!! LOL!

hahaha agreed XD i laugh at almost everything (yes i go crazy when i am with my friends) and crack jokes at whatever i see sometimes it is just a great way to relieve stress and make the people around you feel happy! :D

Damn straight. Humour makes the world more interesting :3 Plus it relaxs people to know that people think they're funny, and it's the best medicine for awkward-ness. :D<br />
Although I have a perverted sense of humour, I laugh pervertedly and point out things that have the number "69" xD <br />
Yes, there are lots of strange people with strange senses of humour. Like me. And...YOOOOUUU!

How did you know I had a weird sense of humor?

I don't like jokes; I appreciate wit.

haven't had a crying laugh or a pee laugh in a while .. hmmm.. i think it's about time for one..

I can understand totally. Only one person really gets me and shares in the laugh. I wish I were with her more. A laugh til you hurt and pee a little...nothing better.

i read somewhere that laughter is a form of reinforcing authority by the person who cracks the joke

yes we are always ... trying to raise the moral aren't we.. ?..what i'm saying is .. i get you..people like you are needed in this world .. .. and even if you think about what a laugh really is .. just a rough grouping of sounds ,, at something ,. it can be funny ..

My mom, my aunt and myself all have this contageous laughter and sense of humor that only we understand. But we laugh so freakin' hard we almost pee our pants. The more people are confused about why we are laughing, the funnier it is.<br />
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My mom is dead and my aunt is old but luckily, my daughter and I are continuing to carry on the tradition.<br />
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I guess my question for the group is....doesn't laughter have a place? My dear husband tries to interject a joke into every freakin' story. So much so that I want to bop him on the head. I think it can change the focus of the attention on the joke teller so I do think it is important to be a gracious laugher and respect those around you. For my husband, he'll never change....so I'll just laugh at him! :-)