Amusing Late Night BanterHello one and all and welcome to this episode of "Hongruilin After Dark". Nooo, it's NOT what you think, there will be no sex-capades written about here, no public confessions of my sexual exploits or fantasies and no pictures of a revealing nature. My horns are quite small today and the tail has been firmly tucked away. So pull that mind out of the gutter RIGHT NOW!
*listens to choruses of whining and disappointed "Aww's" and mutters under breath to self*
"Sheesh, the nerve of some people! Does a girl really have to flirt all the time? Why does everything have to be about sex with you guys?! Damn it, I really need to learn to copy and paste the interrobang already."
*makes mental note*
Anyways ... were was I? Ah yes, this posting ... right, thanks. So, what this story IS about is my sense of humour. My sense of humour is a difficult thing to define and pin down. Trust me, I've tried! The darned thing is wiry and always manages to get the jump on me. I think it's been taking secret ninja lessons from someone, because it sure figured out how to make the whole "sweep the leg" thing work better then I ever could ... I'm rambling again aren't I? Did I loose everyone yet? Hello? Hello?
Is this thing even on? Hmm ...
Okay, I think I may be proving my own point today and at the same time providing everyone a lesson in what lack of sleep does to a normally relatively sane (I said relatively! Quit your snickering!) person's brain. It makes it mush. If you've managed to follow along up until this point you, my friends, deserve a gold star! Thank you for your patience, please hold on while your captain makes a slight course adjustment to get us back on track.
Anyways, what I was trying to say is that I'm a weirdo. A goofball who can be cheesy and corny sometimes, flippantly and sarcastically irreverent at other times and always more then a little bit "bat-crap crazy". I also tend to be rather easily amused. My sense of humour can be odd and sometimes questionable or confusing to others, not everyone gets it. Something that was most recently demonstrated by the fact that I was required to add a disclaimer to a humorous story I wrote about how much "I Hate My Husband", after I received an inbox full of offers to help me and how to fix my marriage.
In "real life" my quirks and slight craziness (I thought I told you to stop snickering!) have a tendency to lead people to just "nod and smile" in response while they slowly back away, wary of contagion, and then turing to run the other direction - fearing either for their life or their sanity (probably both). Here on EP however, it's quite "a horse of a different colour" entirely. I'm thrilled to have discovered a venue in which sometimes another kindred soul ventures forth to join me in and embrace the absurdity of it all. I've made quite a few friends here who constantly make me smile and leave me collapsed on the floor in fits of giggles (you guys know who you are), especially late at night when I tend to get just the tiniest bit sillier, and possibly (alright, certainly) VERY immature.
Anyhoo ... the whole point of todays disjointed sharing session was to post the following conversation which amused the hell out of me last night and still has me giggling today. I'm sure it will get more then a few *groans* and *eye rolls* or people *backing away, while nodding and smiling*. Hopefully, however, it at least makes some of you chuckle in the same way I have been.
Oh, wait, first an explanation and a special note of thanks.
To begin with, the note of thanks. Thank you DRock, one of my newest friends, for always being so goofy and irreverent with me. You are one of those good friends I've made here that get me and that me giggle and smile on a daily basis. It's refreshing to find someone who has such an AWESOME and unique sense of humour and just might possibly be as bonkers as I am. Welcome to the club! Glad to have you in my circle.
*smiles and hugs ya*
Now the explanation. Last night D Rock had asked a question here on EP about seeing people's hooters - as in owl, not boobs. Again you guys with the sexual stuff! Okay ... well maybe it was sightly sexual, but just in a funny not serious manner. I'll forgive you this time.
The point being, he had asked this question and as it usually does with us it evolved into a back and forth joke/story telling type of thing in the comment section. It became a whole thing where I was out in the woods alone at night, with a flashlight looking for some owls to show him. Don't even try to understand it, just accept it! At this point in the evening I had just written that I had: tripped over a root, stumbled, lost my flashlight and it flickered out leaving me in complete darkness - or something along those lines.
And now I present to you the conversation that followed in messages:
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:23 AM
Did you find those hooters yet?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:24 AM
I just lost my flashlight.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:26 AM
Lol I seen that. You know if you would have a pet owl in your house I wouldn't have to send you out by yourself.
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:27 AM
But the dogs would eat it!
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:28 AM
Never mind then i guess i dont need hooters ... Can I taste your melons then?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:30 AM
*hands you a slice of watermelon, honeydew melon and cantaloup*
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:31 AM
How big are your jugs? I'm very thirsty
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:33 AM
I have 4 - 10 gallon water jugs in my kitchen. Drink up.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:34 AM
Thanks I haven't had anything to drink all day!
So where is your rack?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:35 AM
By the front door, you hung your coat on it when you came in.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:38 AM
I just forgot. I am getting kinda cold and wanted to get my jacket.
Has anyone ever told you how nice your balloons were?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:41 AM
Thanks. I like to collect them. I think the pink sparkly one is my favourite, but the helium is starting to leak out so it doesn't float as well anymore.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:42 AM
It's a nice collection even if they don't float.
Those breasts look yummy! Are they tender?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:43 AM
And juicy! Which is surprising considering white meat is usually the drier part of the chicken.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 1:46 AM
I love me some juicy chicken!
Why are your headlights turned on?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 1:54 AM
Because the outside light isn't working and I needed to see my way back and forth to the house to bring in the groceries and I forgot to turn them off. Would you mind running and doing it so it doesn't kill my battery?
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 2:10 AM
Sure ill turn them off
Whoa those are some big bazookas! Are they real?
Hongruilin Feb 3, 2013 2:13 AM
Yeah, I like to collect heavy weaponry.
IamDRock Feb 3, 2013 2:15 AM
Ok I ain't got nothing else lol
- END SCENE-
*still giggling to herself at the immaturity and corniness of it all*
Funny, right? You're laughing, right? You'd better be laughing, I will not accept anything less. Laugh now, or else ... or else ... actually, I got nothing. I'm all just hollow bluffs. Okay, that's all for now, I've subjected you to enough of my wackiness. Go forth, be good, have fun and do something silly today!
P.S. - Thanks, too, to the rest of my circle members. I adore each and everyone of you complete and utter nut cases! It's a wonder they don't lock us all up and throw away the key, but as longs as they're letting us run free it's a privilege to wreak havoc with you.
P.P.S. - This is a public service announcement: "Spooning leads to forking, please use condiments!". We now return you to your regularly scheduled EP programming.