Another Spam Parody

 THE CONKER

 

CONQUER YOUR INSOMNIA WITH THE CONKER

 

With just a couple of sharp raps on the skull, you'll be out like a light.

 

No more boring late night movies. With the Conker, you'll be so unconscious, you'll sleep right through the night and the day.

 

But wait...there's more. If, after three weeks of using The Conker, you aren't downright comotose, return The Conker for a full refund.

 

Nothing could be simpler. Just grasp The Conker in your strong hand and deliver a solid blow to your head.

 

The Conker can even provide you with a non-narcotic and easy means for catching a quick catnap in the middle of the day. Instead of wielding The Conker with full force, just take aim and whack yourself with a glancing blow. 

 

No more sleepless nights. Small enough to fit under your bed, but large enough to produce a crippling concussion. 

 

Tired of ineffective remedies and addictive medications? No bout of insomnia can withstand the knockout effects of a good conk on the brain with The Conker.

 

Don't waste your money on cheap knockoffs that are either too heavy to lift or too small to produce more than a late night trip to the Emergency Room. With The Conker, you can retire with confidence knowing that more than 200,000 customers are laying in permanent vegetative states.

 

And don't be confused by the exaggerated claims of other companies whose unwieldy sledge hammers require an accomplice. The Conker's patent pending technology assures deep cranial penetration with just one hand and one good swing.

 

Pick up your phone NOW and dial: 1-800-4-CONKER and get Conked out now!

 

You'll never have to suffer wakefulness again.

 

THE CONKER™

Another Innovation from KrushSkull Industries 

WraithSword WraithSword
56-60, M
2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Aw, this hit the spot!!! Thanks ;)

ha ha ha!