I'm A Mean Old Cow But I Love It!!

I love to SCARE kids, i think it comes from my own childhood when my auntie loved to scare me.  I come up with all sorts of ways  to get a laugh.  True story, many years ago my dad had an auntie who had 6 fingers and they were removed in an operation, Now here comes MY story, it goes like this...  I say to all the kids who visit ''who wants to see the finger" ?   whose finger, they say?  'grandads old aunties finger" say i.    where is it ? they say.  ' in a little box in my room, i'll go and get it"  and off i trot.  I have a little lidded box with a hole cut out of the bottom just big enough to stick my index finger thru.  I quickly get out my makeup and smear the offending finger with green and black eyeshadow and other convincing stuff to make it look rotten and shrivelled,  stick my finger thru the hole into the box, sprinkle bath salts around so it's nestled in a little bed of preservative looking chemicals, i  surround the offending digit with a bit of cotton wool and lastly add a few drops of red ink.  I idle out to the unsuspecting audience (holding the box as best i can cause i'm one finger short) and say 'are you sure you can handle this cause its pretty old and gross.  Their little eyes light up with anticipation... yes yes, they say ,we can handle it, just show us.. i lift the lid and.... the look of disbelieve and disgust .... soon changes to a look of horror .... when i can't help myself... i just have to wriggle it slightly.... the last time i did it they all ran screaming  and laughing hysterically down the hall.  You couldn't see them for the dust.

Tgilly Tgilly
51-55, F
11 Responses Feb 23, 2010

grinning..you needed to run faster..but notice..it left you with a lasting impression

no sweets...that's on my list of to do things.

Well girl, you're a master prankster, something of a comedian and a ventriloquist in you, ever tried to have puppets speak?

i'm mad..what else can i say ?

Very funny story. I can picture the scene. Thanks for the humor. <br />

Ha ha, that's a great story, i bet he just about wet his britches laughing, sounds like the sort of thing i'd do. That's a wonderful memory to have.

hehe, that's great! reminds me of when my family was camping and my older sister and i went to the bathrooms at the campground and on the way back to the tent, we passed these bushes and my dad comes out with a blanket over him and a cane tapping it and making creepy noises, my sister tried to run, but i wasn't getting left behind so i wrapped myself around her leg and sat on her foot til he finally let us know it was him! lol

Yes it's meant in a fun way and the kids take it as fun, they even ask me to repeat it and get all excited when telling other people about it. I'll write about my Sally and Alice story when i have a bit of time, keep an eye out for that one, it's gone on for 2 generations and even the now grown up nieces and nephews still smile and smirk when they hear me telling the rookies the story.

ROFL! Hey, that's a funny trick, I gotta try it! My Dad can do a trick with his thumb and middle finger in such a way that it looks like he's pulling off his finger! It looks sooo real! Some kids think it's neat, and try to "pull off" their fingers. Others actually get scared or alarmed that Dad's been hurt!

Kids love people who fool with them that way......They know the difference between playfulness and meanness. P.S. I like your avatar--nice kitty.

HAHAHA....HAHA HA HA.... omg i cant breathe. thats so terrible yet so amusing.... at least its all in good fun. I have this soon to be father in law, who also gets humor from others pain. It just sucks cause its always me. He gets wasted all the time, and as soon as he sees me he just makes direct eye contact and you can almost see him trying to think of something to make fun of me about. it was alright at first, but its starting to get old now.... I just want to feel comfertable at their house cause its going to be my family. lately ive just been saying screw it and i wont go over.<br />
Your humor is wierd, but tastefull and quite creative. Just dont get bored and start doing things to hurt ppls feelings, or soon youll be seen as the old man that hates his own life, that everyone tries to avoid.