If I Were President.

I have given a lot of thought to being a world leader, actually the only world leader.

These thoughts provide me with constant amusement and a little consternation.

Of a few things I am now certain. I would definitely be a dictator, and it would be a global dictatorship.

Im pretty sure I'm not evil and I would make it as free a world as possible.

I have no issue with religion of any creed, colour, race etc. and would make it an all inclusive society.

Im not keen on Belgians or Dolphins but would not actively persecute them. 

The small things in life are what really matter and it is these infuriating minute details that I would address first.

I would make it illegal to become or practice the filthy acts of traffic warderism. All traffic warders would have to rehabilitated so that they could re-enter society.  I would make it punishable by death to even think of issuing a parking ticket.

I would next outlaw the death penalty. I would make it compulsory to eat meat. I would round all vegans and vegetarians up (rehab would be pointless) and place them on an island (Im thinking UK)   where we could hunt them for amusement. I would end the outdated  practice of queuing in line and release anyone incarcerated in psychiatric institutions (they are just more fun).  The society would be based on a meritocracy ( though brains and looks wouldn't help you).  Everybody would be assessed on their likability and odour, and your position and standing in society would be proportional to this, except for the Irish. They would be given automatic points just for being Irish (I just like them and I don't think anyone would mind, although it is a dictatorship and so what anyone thinks is irrelevant to me.)

I would make sheep a protected species and lift the ban on panda hunting (this wrong needs to be righted).

These would be just a few of my policies. Oh ye people that constantly show you photos of their kids would have to be dealt with.

Its good to be the King.     Just a thought.  

lazyrich lazyrich
26-30, M
2 Responses Mar 4, 2010

How about rounding up people who write terrible jokes and shooting them instead? -a very insulted vegetarian

Arrogant Fool.