My Wife Never Stops Talking, But We Never Talk!

My wife is an incessant talker.  However, we never talk.  I cannot get a word in edgewise with her.  She literally can talk non stop for three hours.  If I try to interject a thought she scolds me for interrupting her.  If she pauses and I start speaking, same thing. She is so busy talking that she never takes time to listen.  When she talks, even if I'm watching a TV program, she mutes the TV.  I can't read the mail if she is talking.  I feel alone, and she dominates every conversation.  She has no friends and if anyone should try to get to know her she becomes so critical of them that she pushes everyone away.  I hear a constant barrage of insults form her every day.  She sits around all day thinking of all those things which displease her, usually me.  Then when I get home she unloads it all on me.  I just listen and shut up, because I cannot talk to her, only listen.  Our marriage is suffering and she says it's because I do not communicate with her.  Every attempt at communication becomes a huge monologue for her.  She has no idea who I really am because she won't take the time to allow me to communicate that to her. I love her dearly, but am searching for some way I can communicate to her.  I have resorted to writing letters, but that infuriates her.  And, I'm too nice of a person to tell her she is boring me to death with her incessant talking.  Once in awhile she will pause long enough to ask me, "What did I just say?" so she can make certain I am listening to her.  Sex in our marriage has become non existent.   All intimacy is gone. I mentioned sex a few weeks ago and she bit my head off.  I love her dearly, but we seriously need to communicate.  I'm going to try this weekend.  We are going to a marriage seminar on '"Communicating with your spouse."  I'm hoping she will see the error of her ways.  If not, I'm going to be very bold, and just nail her hindquarters to the wall.  One way or the other she will hear what I have to say! 

Jerrychristian Jerrychristian
56-60, M
13 Responses Jan 23, 2009

Ahahahahahahaha Very funny how she talks so much. i can see her being one of those grandparents that goes on and on about everything.. lmao .. and then its so cute that she only wants to talk to you .. lmaoo


I was trying to find this group and i found it.<br />
I know only one method to stop her)wife) stupidities, I stop talking to her for three days.<br />
its work, and she get enough punishment, torment. but again she do the same.and my talk and communication stopped to her, she forget this punishment with in few days. again.<br />
she want to talk to me, my answer for these punishment is just yes and no, nothing more.<br />
She needs me desperately, but she has to waith end of this punishment days.<br />
What to do? shall i increase these days, but i feel so lonely as she feels so lonely too.<br />
she is ok for some days and again she hurt me,so that things are going now constantly.<br />
I am very kind loving person,but she is the way she is. Her mother was like her too, and her father knew only one way to stop her mother, i do not like to use that way i am soft heart person, for me stop talking is best way,

Personally, this is my experience with the longest relationship I've had. I often wonder now whether this is related to oft-quoted "men interrupt women more than women interrupt men". I know it's an anecdote, but if I didn't interrupt my girlfriend, it'd be impossible to say anything.<br />
<br />
Some Psychologist's study found women utter 20000 words per day to a man's average 7000. So, men are interrupting women more but saying less.

Thanks for all of your input. I especially enjoyed the comical sarcasm. That cheered me up. You all gave me good insight and we are now talking again, after I bluntly told her you talk way to much and listen way to little. She even met me at the door with a nice kiss and hug the next day. Maybe I just needed to assert myself more for her to get the point. Any way, thanks for all your comments

Thanks for all of your comments, even the humorous ones. I like a good joke, and it makes me smile. The marraige seminar broke down many barriers, We have finally started to talk. Now, are we there yet, no, but we're making progress. It was nice to just tell her, you talk way to much, and you do not listen. It was especially nice to be able to re-enforce my love for her. Hopefully, she is finding out that conversation is a good thing. We even had a silly argument this morning, in which I told her she was wrong. I am diabetic and me feet get very cold, or sometimes hot, so I wear socks to bed. Last night she was rubbing against me feet with hers. So when she got up this morning, she said, "So, why did you lie to me?" I asked her, what she was referring to. She said you told me you had socks on in bed last night. I did. They were very thin nylon socks, almost like women's hosiery. But because she could not feel them with her feet she insisted I was lying to her. So quietly but sternly I told her I was not lying, but that I had on very thin socks, she could not tell the difference on. She insisted, that she could tell the difference between the feel of my feet from the feels of the socks. I then said, "So you're calling me a liar?" No, I'm not calling you a liar, but you lied to me about the socks." I stated, so you're saying, I lied to you, but I'm not a liar." Then she realized the stupidity of her statement, but still did not apologize. She stated that she was right. I steted you were absolutely wrong. So we just ended the conversation. When I stood up to her with the truth, she just shut up. We remained quiet for awhile, then changed to conversation. So, I'm making progress. Now, tonight when I get home from work, I'm going to confront her again, and tell her, "You owe me an apology." I believe that we can have manageable arguments and be safe that it won't destroy a relationship. I also believe that sometimes it's best to walk away, and come back to it later. But, after good counseling from the marriage seminar, I'm going to be bold and assertive. She will no longer dominate the conversations. I do not relish the idea of continual confrontations. But, when I feel I need to speak, she will no longer shut me up. Time will tell how we deal with that new prospect. How, many of you have gone through the spouse who never shuts up dilema?

ha, I almost slobbered my coffee. skylantern .Ok..Lilycue has a point. If the seminar isn't helpful, try counseling. She has got to get the message .Maybe she needs to feel all important.

See jerry, speechlessness is possible!

I'm speechless after I read your story!

She seems to know you will shut up..she has you trained and yes.Tell her to just STOP.Be very bold and do what you said you would do.I had a friend like that..OMG.After 3 hours shopping, I wanted to throw her out of the car.I don't know how you can stand it.

How about just telling her to shut up? Some people like to run their mouth because they are actually terribly insecure. If she's not listening to you trying to tell her politely to let you into the conversation, then be bold about it. Or tell her if she does not let you speak you are leaving until she does. If she keeps it up, leave the room. Do not be her audience until she starts to listen to you.

Yeah, good luck. Can't really call it a relationship if one party is dictating all the terms.

I just can say good luck!