Another World

If I stare long enough at something I will start seeing things. Symbols, humans, animals, I guess I have a pretty lively imagination. Maybe sometimes too lively. Sometimes when I read my mind will become unfocused, my sight blurry and the gabs between the words become very bright. And then you notice a pattern, you notice that the bright light from the different gabs are connected together. Sometimes these gabs look like a human, or a rabbit, or mouse, or maybe a symbol, like a crucifix perhaps. But the letters they become very blurry, the letters become shadows.
Nothing is spotless, nothing contains only one color. If you look at the wall you will discover that the painting is uneven. That the color is not quite white everywhere, the color is dirty and dirtier. That there are shadows, and sunlight. Everything in the room reflects on everything in the room, and these things will come alive. It’s fascinating.  
Maybe I just spend too much time staring at things? I keep hearing that. That I’m not quite ‘there’, which to be honest with you is somewhat true. I don’t see much reason to be ‘there’ anymore, nothing really happens ‘there’, but they say it’s supposedly healthy, or should I say healthier than being inside your own head. I disagree. Being ‘there’ means I have to listen to 3 hours long whining about boyfriends and parties that didn’t go as planned. When you drink like an Irish person, and you’re only 5`4 ft tall and 110 ibs, then what the F do you expect to happen? I’m sorry but that’s true. I want to chop my godamn ear every time they open their mouth, that can’t be considered as healthy.
But there was a time where I was convinced that I was seeing shadows and I guess they are somewhat scared I will start to babble again about my dark and invisible guests. Not that I spoke and speak very much about what’s going with me, but I did mention it to some. They usually just nod carefully before changing the subject. I understand that they don’t understand, and they know that I know, but we have a contract. They do the talking I listen and I give them advice because we know there is nothing they can really offer me.  They are my friends, and this is a sad agreement but… I don’t really have much hopes or expectations from them or myself. I’ve started to nod a lot myself lately when they speak, as I am busy staring at the wall. That’s when they start complaining about me not being ‘there, but for F sake there are peoples and animals on the freaking wall!
It’s fascinating, it’s just fascinating. 
AviatorHH AviatorHH
18-21, F
1 Response May 25, 2012

lol. i know i know, but the way you write paints such a great image that your stories are fun to read. thanks XOXO