I dont even know where to start. I have been a self abuser...for close to about 6 years. Half of it I dont really do intentionally, the only way I know to calm myself down when I get really mad is to start hitting things, hurting myself someway so that I can calm down, until whatever I was doing hurts so bad that I have no choice but to stop, and normally just continue crying until Ive calmed down completely... Its ridiculous. I have an uncountable about of scars on my legs and shoulders, or upper arm from years of cutting myself, safety pins, razors, knives, whatever was sharp and near me, I wanted to see blood. Period. I have refrained from cutting myself for years now to avoid getting anyones attention. I just hit things...hurt my hands, punch my legs, Ive even concussed myself before..Its retarded.. I know.. Im not sure what I should do with myself. Anger Management, ****** me off. Honestly. No pun intended. I hate Meds, cause I feel controlled. I dont wanna talk to someone who wants to TELL me how I feel.... I dont know man

Jetsabel22 Jetsabel22 18-21 4 Responses Jul 29, 2009

Your Response


you are obviously facing feelings that are too overwhelming and the only way you can seem to deal with these feelings seems to be doing something that feels both dangerous and distracting.

Hey sugar. I'm getting a pink punching bag with pink gloves this year for Xmas. It's on the top of my list tee hee. Maybe get one too and we can exchange jabs :) <br />
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I could really use someone to show me how to use it properly wink wink. <br />
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I'm serious about the bag though ya..........what the heck.....a great workout and get out my frustrations all at the same time. <br />
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I was a cutter from age 23-25 ya............I know how it is. Not fun. I was just so numb I needed something to make me feel and cutting was the only way I could feel. <br />
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I have never hit myself in the face or arms or legs though. I would rather punch a wall or something. These days I pretty much have my anger under control. Okay well maybe not and roomie got in a fight the other day and I threw about 4 things out of the shower out the bathroom door and also hit the bathroom door, all after she slammed the door. I though okay you wanna play this game lets just do it big then. So I broke her bottle of shampoo. I threw her bag of epson salts and that crap flew everywhere with water and stuck to the floor and walls and I told her to clean it up!! LOL

:( Wow hon... maybe I'm not the only one who socks herself in the face sometimes? :( That's no good... wish I could give you something that would be helpful. If you wanna talk I'm here though :)

i know what a realese self harmimg is cuz ive dun it, all i can say is that u need to chanel that energy into something else. i know it sounds silly but get a punch bag and pair of gloves and punch the **** out of it. hope this helps and im here for u if u need to talk x