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Psshh

I dont even know where to start. I have been a self abuser...for close to about 6 years. Half of it I dont really do intentionally, the only way I know to calm myself down when I get really mad is to start hitting things, hurting myself someway so that I can calm down, until whatever I was doing hurts so bad that I have no choice but to stop, and normally just continue crying until Ive calmed down completely... Its ridiculous. I have an uncountable about of scars on my legs and shoulders, or upper arm from years of cutting myself, safety pins, razors, knives, whatever was sharp and near me, I wanted to see blood. Period. I have refrained from cutting myself for years now to avoid getting anyones attention. I just hit things...hurt my hands, punch my legs, Ive even concussed myself before..Its retarded.. I know.. Im not sure what I should do with myself. Anger Management, ****** me off. Honestly. No pun intended. I hate Meds, cause I feel controlled. I dont wanna talk to someone who wants to TELL me how I feel.... I dont know man

Jetsabel22 Jetsabel22 18-21 3 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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you are obviously facing feelings that are too overwhelming and the only way you can seem to deal with these feelings seems to be doing something that feels both dangerous and distracting.

:( Wow hon... maybe I'm not the only one who socks herself in the face sometimes? :( That's no good... wish I could give you something that would be helpful. If you wanna talk I'm here though :)

i know what a realese self harmimg is cuz ive dun it, all i can say is that u need to chanel that energy into something else. i know it sounds silly but get a punch bag and pair of gloves and punch the **** out of it. hope this helps and im here for u if u need to talk x