Not For The Feint Of Heart But For Those Who Want To Stop Suffering In Romance And Are Willing To Do Anything To Get Out

II. ‘Falling in Love’ as Temporary Insanity.

   Romantic love is an altered state of consciousness.
We seem possessed by an alien force taking over our hearts.
Everything seems wonderful
especially the object of our love.

    Our ‘spontaneous’ love-reactions pull us together
into a whirlpool of hopeless, uncontrollable, overwhelming passion.
‘Falling in love’ is like surfing on an ocean wave

sliding down a surging force beyond our control.

    Romantic love is blind because we are really responding
to our own internal fantasies, well-prepared by the romantic tradition.
For years, we have been yearning for our Dream Lover.
And when a close approximation appears,
we project all our pent-up fantasies upon that unsuspecting victim.

    These experiences are really being in love with love.
Such ‘love’ is entirely an emotion, taking place inside our own skins.
Perhaps we remain basically closed persons,
intensely enjoying our own private, internal feelings,
using others as props or supporting characters in our grand love stories.

III. Love & Marriage: Fantasy & Facts.

    In the American way of love, marriages are contracted ‘for love’.
But often the kind of ‘love’ that leads to the altar is romantic infatuation.
After the honeymoon is over, grim reality submerges the fantasy.
The bubble of romance,
which seemed so exquisitely beautiful for a moment,
vanishes with a silent pop, leaving only a small wet mark.

    In other cultures,
marriages are created for more practical reasons.
If there is to be any affection, it might develop later.

    But perhaps romantic love and marriage are incompatible.
Projected fantasies seldom survive years of living together.
Romantic love can be an enjoyable and harmless emotional game

as long as we don’t attempt to construct our lives around this artificial feeling.

ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
31-35, M
Dec 13, 2012