My Own, Personal Hell

My name is elijah, and I have ADHD i am currently a senior in high school and have been accepted into one of the colleges I have chosen. I am 17, and I guess I will start at the beggining. I waas diagnosed at the age of 5 or 6, and have always had trouble making friends. My closest friend was my dog who died when I was 13 and i closed up. I talk a lot and because of that people call me annoying and I am disliked and picked on a lot because of it. I was put on meds in 3rd grade up until 9th grade between that time my meds made me a zombie, I focused and was the sharpest student around BUT i didn't eat much was tiny and couldn't talk to anyone normal i was a different person. I became severly depressed and started to cut for a bit. I stopped eventually making a plan and nearly attempting suicide. well... attempting I puked up the pills and decided against it. I have about 3 friends and I have not had many relationships, I believe in love not lust, and the girls i have dated all broke up with me for another guy. the last one who broke up with me.... broke up with me today. She said I stressed her out was moving to fast etc. yet.... she never told me to slow down or how to slow down, she never told me any of the problems and that devastated me..... now I am here with nothing just myself, a feeling of rejection, and a lost hope. I am done searching for someone hoping for love.... I give up with that..... well that is my story all I want is to be happy my siblings hate me my parents barely talk to me and all I want in a relationship is someone to talk to who understands me, and loves me but I guess that is too much.... that is all.
enewel enewel
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

stay strong my friend <3