Why Didn't Anyone Catch This Years Ago?The title pretty much says it all. I'm a 41 year old woman with a history of severe depression, learning disabilities, unstable relationships, a really dismal academic record and a generally screwed up life. That all changed back in June when I put the pieces together and asked my psychiatrist if I might possibly fit the criteria for ADHD. Looking back now, it seems so obvious: unfinished schoolwork, constant daydreaming, the inability to finish even the simplest tasks, and I always felt like I was climbing a mountain with an elephant on my back while my peers sprinted past me. I always tested high on IQ tests, but it never translated to the real world.
As I progressed into junior high and high school, I began to experience episodes of severe anger and depression that were disabling and my grades reflected that. I graduated high school with a 2.1 GPA and I barely graduated college with a 2.0. It would have been a 1.9, but I had to take an extra class to be eligible for graduation. Frustrated, angry and demoralized doesn't even begin to describe it. It didn't help that my family, instructors and counselors basically said that I was a space case and needed to work harder. Wow, really? Thanks, I never thought of that!
So flash forward to the present, after years of psychiatrists, hospitalizations, and doctors telling me "It's just PMS!" (why is that always their copout explanation for women?) and I have finally found a doctor who knows what she's doing. She started me on Adderall XR 15 mg and the change has been incredible. Since I started taking it I haven't dropped anything, forgotten anything, lost a train of thought, and my cognitive abilities are light years ahead of where they used to be. I feel like a new person. It might be silly, but I'm still angry at all the people who completely missed this and somehow thought that calling me stupid, useless, lazy, and a space cadet would be helpful. If this had gotten treated years ago, my life would have been a very different story.
hpcatfish 41-45, F 10 Responses 3 Aug 14, 2011