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Adult Adhd? That Explains A Few Things

Hi, I've been reading through a lot of the posts on here, its a great relief to find a group of people who have shared the same bewilderment and difficulty I have. I'm 32 now, and have had constant problems with anxiety, panic and serious depression since leaving schooI. I've always had the sense that there's some underlying problem (ie. other than psychological issues).. mainly a constant sense of mental confusion and agitation that never really seems to go away. I've learnt to live with it, but I often feel its not under my control, it's 'just there'. I've tried to explain this to GPs but I always feel like I'm being humoured, and ended up being referred for more talking therapies. I've been on anti depressants for years. So I've never quite convinced myself, and always end up back to presuming that the feeling must come from some psychological trauma/my upbringing/ being bullied/etc. The talking therapy does seem to help, but only in untangling all the issues I've developed through feeling this way for 17 years.

I've always found it impossible to live my life with the same ease that everyone else seems to- always been socially awkward (painfully so when I was younger, less so now), which has put a strain on friendships. It can mean I'm not the easiest of company and a few friends have lost patience with my 'issues', meaning I've ended up quite isolated recently. I've never (even now) felt 'like a grown up'- I recently trained as an art and design tutor, which is the first 'real job' I've ever had. I've always been terrified of responsibility, not through laziness/lack of ambition, but just because I feel completely incapable. I just dont seem to be capable of absorbing and comprehending 'serious' information- I somehow worked at an insurance company for 3 years, but never really understood how the policies worked :D I managed to do my role by remembering all the key bits of information (I was in the call centre), but if anyone asked me a sideways question I was screwed. After that I started another similar job but had to leave because I just couldn't cope.

Theres still a little doubting voice saying that it's not ADHD, its just me being mental. I'm going to see another GP though and find out for sure. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
C (London)
orangeblackyellow orangeblackyellow 31-35 3 Responses Aug 27, 2012

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100% totally know what you mean!

good post

THERE'S NO POINT in going to see you GP yet, trust me! <br />
<br />
A good percentage of the medical profession still believe that AD/HD simply disappears when the "sufferer" turns eighteen... It doesn't. It just changed, as we change... So you'll receive no assistance on the NHS. You must pay for the assessment yourself. It's not too expensive. Mine was £500 approximately three years ago.<br />
<br />
You need therefore to speak to specialists. Below is the website for the Central London AD/HD support group.<br />
https://sites.google.com/site/joyfivolous/home<br />
They'll be able to point you in the right direction as to where you might get assessed. After that then you go to your GP to discuss medication options if you choice to go down that route. :)<br />
<br />
But... In answer to your question. "Does this sound familiar...?"<br />
Yes, all too. The anxiety, the frustration, the feeling of entrapment, & of course on occasion a good(?) dollop of self-loathing. <br />
<br />
I find I control other aspects of myself because I can't control my mind. I quit smoking, & coffee, & took control of a drug habit so as I felt that I had a grip on something. & lately I've begun to control what & when I eat. It's something to have ownership of in the chaos of my thoughts. <br />
<br />
Anyway, good luck. &, I hope you find peace soon. :) 

Hi-

thanks for your response, nice to hear back from a Brit, it seemed as though I was the only one. Wow £500. I'd need to be really sure before went for that. I had a look at the site, thanks for the link- the group is meeting next week so I'll go along.

Have you tried meditating? I've done it since I was about 18, it seems to be the only thing that actually relieves the chaotic feeling. Its not really about controlling it, its more just letting it do its own thing, and finding a separate quiet space in your mind. After 30 or 40 mins it settles. Also I've ended up self medicating with coffee- a bit counter intuitive, but it replaces the jitteriness with a positive buzz (I've also read that caffeine is a good settler for ADHD).

Thanks again for the advice!

C

I'm actually Irish. Well Northern Irish, so I'm kind of in no mans land with regard nationality. :) ...About medication, I'm on a low dose (5mg) antidepressant for anxiety because of my ADD. But I'm still on the fence with regard other meds. I'm just not sure yet. Though I'm beginning to give in to the idea if I'm honest. The past couple of days have been pretty hard going inside my head. :/ ...As for coffee, yes it can be amazing. I quit it last year &amp; my symptoms have went haywire since. But, I'm stubborn, I refuse to give in. I'll find another way! ...Please send me a private message after you've been to the support group. I'd be very interested to hear how you got on. :) Sonnet.

caffein will work . because it raises blood pressure.
thats how ADHD medication work

dont blame yourself for anything !
if you start doing that it is going backwards