Forever AloneI'm a very shy 26 year old female that suffers from agoraphobia. I really don't know what happened to me. I used to be outgoing and not nearly as shy. In fact I'm having trouble just writing this... 10 years ago I would have laughed at someone scared to type about themselves. I guess that's the sort of irony I find in my life. I do go out, but when I get around to many people I get very anxious and I never go out just for fun. I don't really have any friends. I just have my boyfriend that wants me to get better, and yet he won't take me out. I really want to get better myself, but I find it hard to go out. It's like my life has paused and the world is still moving. I feel alone and like a loser. I shudder to think how I will be 5 years from now, if I don't get any help. I've always been a very nervous person, but the older I get the more it haunts me. I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and agoraphobia. I think that I have social anxiety disorder also. I suppose this all may stem from my self-esteem. My father (of whom I still live with) is always putting me down; calling me fat, stupid, and sometimes a lot worse. Sometimes I feel so worthless I just want to disappear. I don't want to die but I am tired of being alone.
xNebulax 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 Feb 22, 2012