Twice Bitten

 In my adolescence my parents divorced and within two years of their separation and divorce both their fathers turned up with terminal illnesses, my parents were pretty messed up.

 I was sent to live with my grandfather in a rural area. I started having anxiety attacks and agoraphobia symptoms, I was sent to a continuation school because they had half days, I moved back in with my father spent the entire summer in my room and once school started again I was recovered.

I joined the navy, served on a ship, and traveled the world. Met my wife married her and had a child with her, she was still in the navy, I found myself in a single parent situation and began to have panic attacks (again), she got out of the navy and we had a second child.

I got a good job but after two years I was laid off, so my wife left me. The panic attacks got worse and the agoraphobia eventually became debilitating.

I was cycled through all the ssri's they made it worse. I tried to decode how I recovered the first time, it occurred to me my worries were social and my future . I had decided I was entitled to give common courtesy without fear of ridicule and as I did this (being friendly to the level of common courtesy) I re-engaged socially and found comfort in self expression and exploration of other peoples thoughts and ideas. Just having someone to talk to.


 

identitytwo identitytwo
36-40, M
1 Response Feb 27, 2009

Locking myelf in a fridge while playing naked hide and seek gave me a cause of claustrophobia.....