On Both Sides.
As a child I never let the fact affect me much. I just avoided the relative who always had the beer in his hand. This is the same man who backhanded me for playfully sticking my tongue out at him as a child.
Growing older, it began to bother me, and I started noticing it more in others.
Fights have happened with bad results due to my losing my temper over it.
Now it simply makes me sad, and disgusted. To think that this person (a different one than I mentioned previously), who I love, can only find peace of mind from draining his beer cans. That the only time he's "happy" is when he's nodding off in his chair after downing a few(or more than a few, depending on the night.) That he doesn't realize how good he's really got it...
What I want to tell him is "Just stop. Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting her. Start acting like you deserve her and those children. Stop lying. Quit pretending you have control over it when everybody knows you're a slave to it. Go get help."
I, however, do not waste my breath. I know that ultimately, you cannot help someone who does not seek to be helped. So I watch it happen. I listen to her when she needs me.
I wish there was more I could do.