On Both Sides.

As a child I never let the fact affect me much. I just avoided the relative who always had the beer in his hand. This is the same man who backhanded me for playfully sticking my tongue out at him as a child.

Growing older, it began to bother me, and I started noticing it more in others.

Fights have happened with bad results due to my losing my temper over it.

Now it simply makes me sad, and disgusted. To think that this person (a different one than I mentioned previously), who I love, can only find peace of mind from draining his beer cans. That the only time he's "happy" is when he's nodding off in his chair after downing a few(or more than a few, depending on the night.) That he doesn't realize how good he's really got it...

What I want to tell him is "Just stop. Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting her. Start acting like you deserve her and those children. Stop lying. Quit pretending you have control over it when everybody knows you're a slave to it. Go get help."

I, however, do not waste my breath. I know that ultimately, you cannot help someone who does not seek to be helped. So I watch it happen. I listen to her when she needs me.

I wish there was more I could do.

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4 Responses Sep 25, 2009

Alcohol has been the lighter fluid that has helped burn many people and relationships around me. I've never been seriously hurt, but I've watched many other go down around me. <br />
The most important and helpful thing I've noticed for them at this time is that when someone important to them has knocked them down, they have someone equally important to pick them up and help them. <br />
Just know you are making an important difference in her life and that you are helping her be strong. You are also inspiring her to make a possitive difference for herself.

Very touching. If only the alcoholics in our lives could see what it does to the people that love them.<br />
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Wishing you well....xx

At the end of the day, if someone does not want to be helped, its difficult to move forward. When it start to badly effect your health & well-being, thats the time you have to consider preserving your own sanity.<br />
This may or may not help:- http://feelreallyrich.com

I'm sorry that you went through that.<br />
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All you can do for her is to listen to her, to love her, and be there with her.<br />
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That makes the world of difference i'm sure!