I'm sixteen and I've had alopecia universalis since I was in seventh grade. A seventh grade girl losing her hair. Wow that's the absolute worst time to start losing your hair because really, junior high is where they put kids when they're at their most bitchy and hormonal and judgmental and let them stew and fester for a couple years before releasing them to high school, where everyone is much better.

I had a bad time at first. People were mean. They tried to pull off my hats during school. Rumors were spread. I went through the usual, somewhat obligatory, months of depression. I tried lots of "cures." The ones that make you itch, the ones that make you feel pain, the ones that make your head feel absolutely gross. I cried. A lot. And although I've never believed in any religion, I prayed. Still, my hair would fall out by the hundreds. I don't really know how, but one day I just got really fed up and really hateful of all my self pity so I shaved my head. Better to just let it all go at once than to watch it slowly, agonizingly fall out, right?
Oh, but then came the wigs. So many different styles, so many different options. That opened up something completely new for me and it gave me a chance to be normal. That's when I started to be okay with my disease. Not so much because of the fact that I could wear a wig and hide it all away, but because I began to accept it as a part of my life. What having this disease really taught me was that it really doesn't matter what people think. As long as I know that I'm a good person, I'll be okay. Having this disease really forced me to stop caring what other people think of me, because if I cared I might still be depressed today. So that's my attitude: This is me, I have no hair take it or leave it. And I think I'm okay.

Or I thought I was okay. Recently, I've gotten so sick of wigs I just UGH. Where do you get to the point of okayness where you can be like SCREW HAIR and just go without it whenever you feel like it? So I'm back at square one and I hate feeling so insecure about it. There's no one really I can talk to about it my age who really understands the struggle. I'm okay but I'm also sort of not okay.

ziggystardust13 ziggystardust13
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

omg i went through the same exact thing it was kind of creepy because reading what you just wrote explained everything i had gone through in seventh grade my hair started falling out in novmeber and i lost it all by the begging of december is there any way we can talk??

Hi. I know exactly how you are feeling. I am 14 and I starting losing my hair in 8th grade. It started out as areas but now I have universalis. I did the same thing you did I got fed up watching it fall out and shaved it all. My first wig was great for a while but then it got so uncomfortable and annoying. I wanted so badly to get to the place where I didn't care and just be bald but I just couldn't. I hate when people look at me I feel so insecure and because I lost my eyebrows I have to draw them on and I feel like people are always looking at me. Recently I got a new wig that is so great. It's so comfortable and cool and stays on no matter what. It is made of silicon so it sticks to your head and is very breathable. The hair is European human hair which is the best. The company is called follea. They are very expensive. My dad had to work overtime for months for it but it definitely made a difference in my life. I really hope this helps you. Right now I'm in a horrible place. Somedays I dread going to school so much that I make myself physically sick. You are not alone. I am always here if you need to talk because not many people understand what were going through. So many people have tried to give me advice but nothing they say makes a difference. They just don't know what it's like or what I'm going through. I have shared my story here so if u want you can take a look. I hope this helps. Sorry it was really long.