Myself

I have been told I should “find your passion in life, take care of your needs”  by a lot of people that past few weeks/months. My problem is I feel as though my spirit has been CRUSHED.  I used to be passionate about life but right now I feel so unmotivated to even find out who I am and what I can do. I wonder if there is even something I could hear that would light my spark again. I feel so helpless - quite antithetical to the way I used to be. There is something I want more than anything in the world, I can see it but can’t touch. I see women everywhere getting to be mother (even on TV) I can’t help feeling like I am being punished  for something I did but don’t know what. I try so hard to hid this from my husband & friends but I’m sure they can see right through me. I have lost the gumption to pick myself up by the bootstraps and find that zest for life which is so very short. Even when I am out doing activities, I feel ennui, emptiness and sadness.  If I can make it through a day only crying once that’s a good day for me. I don’t like feeling like this but at the same time I have no idea how to fix it!