I Have Really Tried...

I have really tried to be there whenever somebody needed me...I still try to...
But at some point I realized that I just can't help everybody... I just can't be there all the time...
Besides, if everyone has been there for everyone, then we would've never learned to rely on ourselves... Isn't this true?
For example, if my parents were always there for me, I would have never learned how to become independent... I would have been lost in the world, not knowing anything at all...
Even if my conscience bites me sometimes because I haven't been there for someone some time, I did a good thing, because this person learns a new skill...
Still I try to be there, whenever somebody needs me...

misunderztood misunderztood
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 12, 2009

I have an oppisite outlook, the more I am there for people the more they take advantage of me. I was the first one to say"I will" or "I can Help" ect.ect.ect.- Then my mother became very ill and I found out who really wanted to be there for mfe, just need a shoulder and no one was there. STILL HURTING

I have never thought of it that way..Thank you

I agree with tmmarion. Some people do take advantage when you're there for them. It's like they take your kindness for weakness. I have a sister like this. I helped her with her household chores for two days a week for 8 years, because her daughter was in a bad car accident. My sister had to take her daughter out to exercise, etc. while I took care of the chores. My sister's husband was at home because he is retired, so he was at home when I was doing the chores for my sister. My sister and her husband had a second home in Florida and went there in the winter, so I didn't help them then. In Nov. of 2007
through June of 2008 Florida they were in Florida, and my sister came back to Michigan without her husband. She came back to Michigan alone because her husband and her were getting a Divorce. When she was going through her Divorce, her in-laws and her made up some terrible accusations that were not true about her husband and I having an affair. I told my sister how wrong she is for assuming that, and she did not believe me. We are still not talking to each other because of all that they are accusing me of doing based on their false suspicions, and assumptions. My sister is very close to her in-laws and believes the lies they tell her over the truth that I tell her. I am also married, and I would not jeopardize ruining my marriage by having an affair. My sister knows me better than that, but she is very easy going, and is easily swayed by her in-laws to believe everything they say, even if they tell lies. This really hurts, but I don't feel that there is nothing I can do, If my sister has her in-laws on her side. I don't know what would be the best thing to do about this. Any comments are welcome.

you could get more help if you wrote it as a story, not a comment, more people will see it and help you :)
wow, your situation really sucks, i have to admit it... i know it hurts you, but maybe you should just let it go... obviouslly she isnt interested in knowing the truth, but you should stick to it... maybe you should talk to her ex husband if possible, maybe he knows something... you should let her go, eventually she will understand how important it is to have someone by her side, especially if she has a sister... :) i wish you all the best :*

Thanks for your comment. I do still talk to her ex-husband, but I'm not sure if she likes that. I do know that my sister is very insecure and jealous, because of past situations that I've observed. When she and her husband asked me to help them, I agreed to it like a loyal sister should. I didn't even think that there would be any problem with my sister or her in-laws on my decision to help her. At the time I didn't even think of her insecurity and jealousy, but I probably should have thought more of it before I committed to helping her. She even lied to me about trusting me while I was helping her. I feel that she did that just to get all the work out of me that she could. She finally told me the truth after all those 8 years about how she really felt. By that time, it was too late to do anything about it. If she would have told me about her true feelings while I was helping her, then it would have been easier to trust her because she would have shown her honesty back then. If I would have known the truth that she did not trust me around her husband, I would have stopped helping them if I knew how she felt. She's going to have a hard time now building up the trust again, because I already told her that It will be hard to believe any
positive thing she says anymore, being that she has been lying to me for the 8 years that I helped her. I don't really know if this problem will ever be solved, being she thinks that I had a part in destroying her marriage, but I just did what she was allowing me to do.