I'm Sorry My Dear

I have always tried to be there, but have fallen so short.

I was to be there for our sons first doc appointment when you found out that he was austistic, but i was on a plane.

I was to be there for when things go bad for you at work, but when you had a bad day I came home and dumped on you, you did not ask for it and did not deserve it.

I was to be there for you when we moved but I got sick and ended being in the hospital.

I was to be there for you when you got shingles, but I was working in Singapore, how I wanted to tell my job to eff off and come home.  But you said to stay.

Then the hurricanes coming in Katrina and Rita, you were freaked out and all I could do was get you hotels to stay at on your way up to your sisters.

I am so sorry that I haven't been there for you when you really required me to be, I feel guilty for it everyday that I'm not there.  You shouldn't have to deal with everything by yourself.

I am trying to be there for you in the things that go wrong and you turn to me for help and I'm not there.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what more to say dear.

I wish you would vent on me so that you can feel better but you don't, I blame myself for that cause I'm not there for you so I put all of the blame on me, you have nothing to be sorry for dear, the nights that I want to be home with you and you just want to get out, the nights i want to snuggle with you and you are so tired that you just want to sleep.

I'm Sorry.

There may be a day where I ask for your forgivness and you may give it one day when I have proven that I am worthy of it.

 

mtvlm mtvlm
41-45, M
4 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Just let her know asap how much you care, or just let her read this, it will work believe me, you need to communicate, more important than anything else!

I hope so, it won't always be this way. I just hope that I'm done before she is.

I will someday when I can make good on it.

Just let her know your feelings! :)