Fight Back!! And Dont Dwell.

i have an abusive father. i first realized that at the age of 12. hes told me things no one should ever have to go through. he doesnt like me i know couse hes told me. i dont like him he knows it. iv always had a hard time excepitng the fact that i have an abusive father. iv gone through physical and mental abuse. not anymore though. i fight back now. i dont let him over power me. i try to bloke him out mentally.i never dwell on what he says. EVER!! its my #1 rule. he cant help himself. theres nothing i can do for him. iv givin up on me and him ever gettin along. it just cant happen. lifes problems always pull us apart. more bad memorys then good ones. hes draged me and the rest of my small family down with him. weve reached a dead end. i swore to him id kick his azz when i got old enough. i still plan on it. ill show him no mercy. iv sworn to him ill make him cry the way he used to to me when i was younger. hopefully by that time ill have enough respect for him. i doubt it. the memorys will always stick. there are so many things i could tell you that hes done to me. but theirs no use on dwelling on it. i let it go. but the most victorias physical fight weve ever had was when he thought he could yell at my face again. i punched him in the face. he held me down but didnt do anything else. it was a huge victory for me. it was the first time i ever fought back instead of just takin it. i shouldnt take this **** from him. i can already tell there will be another fight.some time maybe in a couple years or maybe tomorrow. but i look forward to it. i want him to see ill fight back. i dont think my "dad" does this on purpose but hes fuucked up in his head. he cant see things clearly. as time passes i become more dominent. things havent been as bad as the times before i punched him. i love him in my own crazy way. im not the first to punch my dad. most of my freinds have abusive dads. we live on the darkside of the south. my teachers talk about the time they fight their dads. its not bad. its like closure or somthing. it has to happen for things to get better.
maverick321 maverick321
70+, M
3 Responses Jan 30, 2012

How old are you? Do you have kids. grandkids, or even great grandkids? How old is your Dad? I've been abused too. pl;ease reply. God bless.

I like what you say. I like the writing style.
An observation. You are down as 70+.
Has anyone else noticed?

so long as you don't pass the **** on-**** him