My Boyfriend Admitted To Me That He Is A "functional Alcoholic"

I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years now! When we first met we would go out drinking alot...then I started to slow down because it wasn't my scene anymore. I have also been trying to lose weight and know that alcohol isn't much help. He admitted to me that he is a "Functioning Alcoholic" and doesn't want to get help.He doesn't think that he needs any.

 He doesn't drink during the week and then binge drinks on the weekend...thinking that it is ok. Most of our fights stem from when we are out and I want to go...but he has the last person to leave. Once upon a time I thought this man and I were going to get married. I know that I should leave him...I just don't know how. I have a father who is a recovering addict and know how much he ruined my family growing up. What a horrible person I would be to marry my bf, have kids with him and put them thru what I went thru as a child. I need a push so bad...and just don't know how to break away...his family knows that he has a problem...but not one of them will ever tell him. Please help.....I am so lost and in so much pain.
drea16 drea16
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I have not been married but it seems that a healthy marriage stems on respect for another person's wishes and compromise. It does not sound like you will have these things in your relationship and that may eventually cause resentment. <br />
It is so hard and I know because I just left an alcoholic but it is very hard to date someone who is selfish and I think by nature that is what these people are as nice as they may be outside of the alcohol. <br />
I think BCBoomer made a good point as well with regards to health issues and most alcoholics do seem to die at a young age so there is the future and his health to think about and what type of environment a child would grow up in if you want kids. <br />
I wish you all the best and certainly understand your situation and feel your pain. Best of luck to you.

This is such a well known issue in my family. Alcoholism ran rampant and did cause many problems and much pain. My father was an alcoholic - he stayed sober all week but would drink all weekend.<br />
I can remember very few that he was sober on the weekend. He was what I now know to have been a "binge" drinker, while others stay on alcohol 24/7. Until his business went under, it was just an unfortunate thing , it was'nt his drinking, he continued this way but he started drinking more and more.<br />
By this time I had left home, I did at an early age, because he caused so much pain in the family, he was drinking more and more.<br />
It was never mentioned as alcoholism, just "his drinking". He died at the age of 51, I was with him when he passed and at the time was only 29. He seemed so old! I'm past his age and still am amazed at how younger people still see this as someone old when they are just getting to middle age.<br />
<br />
Alcohol was a problem in other areas of my family, and when I look back I think in wonder how people will lie to themselves, almost more than the actual drunk. <br />
<br />
I, who Never drank, started in my thirties, was functional for a while , as your bf says but it does turn <br />
on you. First all the mistakes, then more serious issues and finally being physically ill if not able to get a drink. I became a 24/7 drinker and by the grace of God got sober and stopped. No where easy as it sounds, I assure you, but I wreaked havoc as a drunk, and while I have been sober for 18 years, I still beat myself up over it. This is just a long comment on the bad that alcohol can cause in your life as well as a warning. God Bless You.