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A personal story in the experience: I Have An Alcoholic Boyfriend

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Apr 25th, 2008

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Have An Alcoholic Boyfriend

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I have been living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 1/2 years - together for 5 1/2. Last Friday, I finally got up the courage to ask him to move out. He had finally pushed me too far by hiding how much he was drinking, occasional verbal abuse and financial irresponsibility. My problem now is that he is actually trying to change so he can stay. For the first time in 3 1/2 years he is putting some effort into slowing down on his beer consumption! He is constantly telling me he misses "us", how much he loves me, he won't disapoint me this time, he can do it, begging for just one more chance, just one more week to show me he can do it. I am needing some outside perspective - am I totally crazy for even considering it? The trust is gone but I love him.

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balrath	Posted Apr 26th, 2008 at 5:26AM I am sorry to say..much as he may WANT to change for you or the relationship, the only way he can stop is if HE wants to stop, only if HE sees he has a problem and wants to change his life...not just because you say things should be different. Sounds like you have had enough and are only prolonging the inevitable. I did the same with my ex partner but things only got worse and worse. I loved him but not his behavior or attitude. I wanted someone to pull with me not against me as life is hard enough without someone pulling you down! xxx
fandango76	Posted Jan 22nd, 2009 at 11:31PM I met my partner in 2006 just 3 months after his wife died from liver disease, I went into a relationship knowing he himself was an alcoholic, I tried everything to make him stop except leave him, There was no stopping him and I new it, We were together for 2 yrs and on Dec 27 2008 he passed away from liver disease. It was a struggle that I would never do again, I took care of him" I would shower him and dress him and comb his hair, There were times where he would bleed from his face, He would throw up all his fluids and he would have blackouts and fall to the ground, The Alcohol took away his freedom in the end and he was confined to a hospital bed.
fearfull	Posted Mar 14th, 2009 at 11:10PM I am going through the same dilemma, I have taken my boyfreind back 6 or more times. So many promises of change. And as we speak he is at his home or god knows where drunk. I had it out with him. Was bawling my eyes out. The alcohol is number 1. Not any girlfriend or lover. There love is the drink. I am devasted i love this man. What promises will 2morrow hold??? None cause they will be broken again +2 nods
HeavenBesideYou	Posted Mar 15th, 2009 at 7:32PM I have lived this, Honey, for many many years. Promises of change, and he would get better, drink less, control it more, but he always got back to a bad drunk eventually. I know you love him, Sweetie, I know what you are going through. The thing is, though, is that as long as you are with him you will continue to go through it, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Feel free to pm me anytime you need to talk. Hugs.
undercover1	Posted Apr 17th, 2009 at 3:25AM As someone who understands addiction fairly well I can state with surety and familiarity that the only way for an addict or alcoholic to stop using is by deciding to stop and get help. It is rare, although not impossible that a person just stops using. I am not a huge fan of 12 step programs but they seem to help a lot of people, all of this considered I would suggest he hit up an AA meeting. There are also AL-ANON groups for the loved ones of an alcoholic. It is a very painful situation to have your loved ones consumed by this disease, I know. Delineating what behavior the disease causes and what is just his/her character can seem like an impossible feat. I wish you the best and you can message me anytime.
casey63	Posted Apr 19th, 2009 at 1:05AM I dated a man recently and a couple of weeks into the relationship I found out he is an alcoholic. Just like your partner he pleaded and promised so much change in his drinking habits. I gave him the chance and it lasted about 4 days! You can't force a person to change this comes from within them. Maybe I am wrong but I thought that if I decided to stay with this guy then I would need to put up with his drinking and all that comes with that. I knew I couldn't handle giving lectures weekly and worrying about his drinking. His alcohol wasn't worth it to me. It's true alcoholics are selfish when it comes to their alcohol. You will never change this man no matter what he says. Good Luck!
infowoman	Posted Apr 19th, 2009 at 2:18AM Looks like you are not alone in your struggle. I keep "hoping" one day I will have the house, the hubby, the great boyfriend, but it's not going to happen with him he likes his drink too much. No future in drinking. Keep your eyes wide open girl. Be strong. He has to want to stop no amount persuading will help.

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