I Have An Alcoholic Boyfriend
No matter how hard we try not to replicate the mistakes of our parents, we inevitably fall in to the same pattern.
My mother has had her fair share of alcoholics and though I married at the age of 18 to a man that didn't drink, when we divorced 6 years later I found myself in the same spiral.
First there was Kelly. A great guy deep inside but alas a high functioning alcoholic. You know, the kind that drinks from the time they wake up until the eventually pass out. The kind that kept a bottle of vodka under the seat of his car for when he got off work. We dated for 6 months. It ended when we were supposed to meet for lunch one day and instead he spontaneously jumped on a plane and flew to Mexico for 2 weeks.
Next was Dennis. The sociopath alcoholic. We were together for four years and though I will spare you the gory details, after those four years (of which we lived together nearly the entire time) he told me he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Funny thing was that 6 months later he married his ex, she was pregnant and that year he spent Christmas eve alone in a bar.
So that brings me to today and Paul. The crazy thing about Paul is that he is that I have known him for 28 years. When I came "back home" after Dennis, Paul was going through a messy divorce and living with his Mom. We spent the first 4 months in a drunken stupor until I found out Kelly (yes the same as above) died from complications due to alcoholism. He was 42. It's been 3 years and though I no longer drink and have left Paul now 4 times, I'm still with him and he's still drinking. Granted he'll quit for a few months and then he's right back at it. I want to forgive him because he truly is a good man outside of his alcoholism but stronger than that is my desire to run away. Thanks to my marvelous choices, we moved in together. When I "left" him before it was easy, we didn't live together. Now I'm stuck. No where to go, no means to get there. But I will make it out eventually and hopefully this time I have learned my lesson.
My mother has had her fair share of alcoholics and though I married at the age of 18 to a man that didn't drink, when we divorced 6 years later I found myself in the same spiral.
First there was Kelly. A great guy deep inside but alas a high functioning alcoholic. You know, the kind that drinks from the time they wake up until the eventually pass out. The kind that kept a bottle of vodka under the seat of his car for when he got off work. We dated for 6 months. It ended when we were supposed to meet for lunch one day and instead he spontaneously jumped on a plane and flew to Mexico for 2 weeks.
Next was Dennis. The sociopath alcoholic. We were together for four years and though I will spare you the gory details, after those four years (of which we lived together nearly the entire time) he told me he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Funny thing was that 6 months later he married his ex, she was pregnant and that year he spent Christmas eve alone in a bar.
So that brings me to today and Paul. The crazy thing about Paul is that he is that I have known him for 28 years. When I came "back home" after Dennis, Paul was going through a messy divorce and living with his Mom. We spent the first 4 months in a drunken stupor until I found out Kelly (yes the same as above) died from complications due to alcoholism. He was 42. It's been 3 years and though I no longer drink and have left Paul now 4 times, I'm still with him and he's still drinking. Granted he'll quit for a few months and then he's right back at it. I want to forgive him because he truly is a good man outside of his alcoholism but stronger than that is my desire to run away. Thanks to my marvelous choices, we moved in together. When I "left" him before it was easy, we didn't live together. Now I'm stuck. No where to go, no means to get there. But I will make it out eventually and hopefully this time I have learned my lesson.
By:
jiffner
Age:
31-35
,
Female
