Starting To Get WorriedDear all,
10 months ago I started dating an absolutely amazing guy. We are both in our 20s. He is everything I could ever hope for, extremely supportive, kind, loving, reliable, caring etc. But, another amazing thing is the amount of alcohol he drinks.
Right now I am in the situation where I am not actually sure whether he is in the problem zone or not, but I am getting a bit worried he might be.
To give you a rough idea of the amount of alcohol he consumes, only very rarely a day goes past when he doesn't drink.
It is totally normal for him to drink at least something like 8 beers/ciders on a daily basis, sometimes a bottle of wine that I happened to leave at his place (I often don't want to drink that much myself on a random weekday, only one or two glasses, hence always leave most of it at his place and it's always gone when I come round again a few days later).
The last couple of times we met up somewhere else he already smelled like alcohol upon arrival.
When we really plan to go for some drinks together he 1) drinks two pints for every one pint I have, and 2) continues on long after I physically can't drink anymore because I am drunk and feel like I would be sick if I continue, and I have good stamina, when I go out with other people they usually want to drink less than me.
On the other hand, he doesn't lie about it and doesn't hide it (I often walk into his apartment finding empty beercans and bottles all over)
He admits he really likes drinking a lot, and was worried himself for a while but now really isn't anymore.
He is not a bad drunk at all, never violent or angry or whatever.
Like I said, we get on great, he has an amazing personality and really is there for me a lot (I have quite some emotional issues), so I have really started to care for him and love him a lot. He is the guy I would imagine wanting to start a family with. So last when we talked about it he asked whether I would care if he was an alcoholic/turned into one. I said that I would choose to stay with him if the situation remained like this because I care and I really want to be with him, so this wouldn't be a dealbreaker, unless it would cause more issues, i.e. if he'd become abusive, or would really start making a big mess out of everything (right now he is still functioning good at his work/study).
So I would really like to get others' perspective on this. Do you think my feeling is right and I should be worried. Is he an alcoholic, do you think he will be able to maintain his current situation? I really won't know what to do and how to help him, as he clearly wants to believe he doesn't have a problem and doesn't want any help quitting/facing up.
Anyone have any advice? What is wisdom now?
worriedme 22-25, F 0 Jun 20, 2012